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Robyn
22,549
September 2006
millsberryfanrob
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Post by Robyn on Jun 5, 2019 19:31:17 GMT -8
I frequent these forums weekly. Usually I am preoccupied with my child, hanging out with my family or otherwise life. However, some evenings I find myself with extra time to reflect upon my past and I chose to do so via observing my 10+ years as a member of GT. It's been amusing cringing at my early teenage years contributions, while feeling nostalgia for members of the past whom i used to interact with on a seemingly daily basis.
Many of my more popular discussions have typically revolved around the topics of politics or religion. Those who have been around long enough may have remembered many of my contributions to these topics, be it often presented in immature, misinformed or even toll/bully like behavior. I am most certainly grateful for my maturity and improvement in both critical thinking as well as having an open minded attitude toward alternative perspectives.
However, I cannot help but have empathy toward those who had to deal with my confused, perhaps closed minded opinions. Clearly I had strong belief and was willing to defend it, however I was also unfortunately not raised in a healthy home where i was allowed to learn and grow in ways that I now wish I had. With that said, I wanted to offer the most internet-possible of ways a heat felt apology to all those who may have been offended, hurt or otherwise had negative feelings toward how I behaved.
Perhaps the decade past has mended any scars, but I just wanted to find the most appropriate and direct way to apologize and I hope this is adequate to those who have been affected. I am currently in college studying religious history and observing human behavior in society, as well as the concept of westernization influencing our global network. I have certainly change many of my viewpoints and would likely disagree with most of my past-self's opinions.
In conclusion, have you ever felt the need to apologize on an internet-based site? With the introduction and pretty much standard format of communication via social media, i'm sure apologize are much easier to give due to the personalized nature of online identity. However, on "ancient" internet forums like GT, it is certainly a bit more difficult to identify the personality behind the profile.
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#FF6600
Closet Spammer
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wildmaven
Fear the Flying Flocks of Fiery Fury!!
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October 2004
wildmaven
Wildmaven's Mini-Profile
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Post by wildmaven on Jun 5, 2019 21:30:25 GMT -8
I am more of a fan of those who come back and show us through honest and respectful replies to posts, rather than through apology threads, but I do understand a personβs need to as you have done. Much of the time, those who were hurt will still be hesitant until they see change for themselves. Itβs one thing to pop in, say Iβm sorry and disappear again, but something braver to stay and be under scrutiny until the trust has been regained.
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Aug 27, 2012 5:36:39 GMT -8
D
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August 2004
dodz
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Post by D on Jun 5, 2019 22:15:43 GMT -8
I'm glad you've recognised how disruptive your behaviour was back then. I doubt whether anyone was hurt or offended, but there was probably a lot of people left disheartened at the direction disruptive posters and the inflexibility of the rules to remove such posters took GT in those years.
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Mar 28, 2024 18:22:27 GMT -8
User 180565 is taking donation
I forgot you were a person
10,420
June 2012
keenk
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Post by User 180565 is taking donation on Jun 5, 2019 22:17:57 GMT -8
Personally, I've been lying about being a human this entire time.
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Artemis
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August 2004
lray2
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Post by Artemis on Jun 6, 2019 16:24:16 GMT -8
You've definitely have changed a lot over the years, and imo it's been pretty positive. And not to undermine your point but it's refreshing for anyone to look back at who you used to be and be able to recognize where you went wrong and notice how you've changed for the better. I'm not sure if apologies like this are "easier" somehow, but you're still posting to a large community for everyone to see, and I know a lot of people who wouldn't be able to do that. I know some that I'd like to see that I probably never will, either from fear or because the people involved don't think it's necessary. So you writing this is pretty cool of you, too.
I don't think I've ever wrote anything like this publicly. Generally any apologies I've needed to make have been in private to the individuals who needed to hear it, and that's usually because what happened was in private as well.
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Mar 28, 2024 6:14:34 GMT -8
Robyn
22,549
September 2006
millsberryfanrob
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Post by Robyn on Jun 6, 2019 18:35:20 GMT -8
I am more of a fan of those who come back and show us through honest and respectful replies to posts, rather than through apology threads, but I do understand a personβs need to as you have done. Much of the time, those who were hurt will still be hesitant until they see change for themselves. Itβs one thing to pop in, say Iβm sorry and disappear again, but something braver to stay and be under scrutiny until the trust has been regained. I certainly agree with you, it is much more effective to display an honest apology or promise of change by way of consistent example. I wish this were the effective option for myself, though i fear my life's schedule will prevent me from finding time to become a more active participant on GT. Though, perhaps i can try to participate in increments throughout the next few months? Regardless, I certainly do not blame you for finding apologies more effective when demonstrated throughout a period of time. I'm glad you've recognised how disruptive your behaviour was back then. I doubt whether anyone was hurt or offended, but there was probably a lot of people left disheartened at the direction disruptive posters and the inflexibility of the rules to remove such posters took GT in those years. I suppose the motivation to publicly apologize came from my own cringing upon discovery of my early interactions. I was surprised how uncomfortable reading my less-matured responses to quite fascinating topics of the day was. I do miss a good debate; college has trained me to appreciate research, structuring arguments and opening the conversation up to further counters. I certainly don't believe that most of those who interacted with me would find my apology needed at this point in time. But it certainly does remove my guilty conscience and perhaps can rekindle a past culture again. Personally, I've been lying about being a human this entire time. How have you evaded the ban hammer? I'm impressed by your AI's capabilities to produce human-like sentences but very disappointed with your ancient internet sense of humor. You've definitely have changed a lot over the years, and imo it's been pretty positive. And not to undermine your point but it's refreshing for anyone to look back at who you used to be and be able to recognize where you went wrong and notice how you've changed for the better. I'm not sure if apologies like this are "easier" somehow, but you're still posting to a large community for everyone to see, and I know a lot of people who wouldn't be able to do that. I know some that I'd like to see that I probably never will, either from fear or because the people involved don't think it's necessary. So you writing this is pretty cool of you, too. I don't think I've ever wrote anything like this publicly. Generally any apologies I've needed to make have been in private to the individuals who needed to hear it, and that's usually because what happened was in private as well. Well, thank you! It's been one of those life-moments when I wish i had a better environment that would promote the open-mindedness that could have fueled a more fascinating discussion, especially with the hot button topics of those years. Seems social media has crowned that internet arena now. Certainly makes sense, and this is truly not the first apology I have given in context of my past-self's embarrassment. On an off topic note, it took me longer than I expected to figure out how to multi quote a reply. I'm on the v... is it 6 now? beta. I had selected everyones replies but upon hitting the orange plus button i was led to a blank slate. I had to quote the last reponse in order to view all of the quotes.
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bigballofyarn
"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe." -Carl Sagan
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January 2003
bigballofyarn
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Post by bigballofyarn on Jun 7, 2019 4:39:57 GMT -8
I apologize all the time. It's almost an instinct and might just be a cultural phrase within my part of the USA. Someone could tell me, "You apologize too much. It's not necessary." My response would probably be, "I'm sorry."
It's hard to offend me anymore though. I have been online so long that I'm desensitized to almost everything, whether it's online or in person. You've never offended me, but we may have never had direct contact. I'm sure no one's holding against you anything you said many years ago. We all grow and mature. The things I posted on forums 16 years ago are pretty funny/odd/"cringey" too. I don't worry. I don't open old wounds. I don't rage delete everything. I leave the archive intact of my youthful angst.
People do appreciate apologizes though in instances where you've hurt them. I generally take care of that immediately if it's clear to me that I hurt someone. Just consider whether you are apologizing for their benefit or yours. It may change your outlook on this.
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Passionate Peruser of Prose
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Feb 26, 2024 2:23:30 GMT -8
π Dianne π
"Never Judge A Book By Its Movie"
10,522
September 2006
cats57
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Post by π Dianne π on Jun 7, 2019 4:57:51 GMT -8
I was away for so long that I don't remember you being a PITA and frankly, I know too many so-called *adults* that are rude, closed minded and opinionated, so no worries from me.
I only care about how you are now. And we've all matured...well most of us anyway *sigh*
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Mar 28, 2024 18:22:27 GMT -8
User 180565 is taking donation
I forgot you were a person
10,420
June 2012
keenk
Pink Stars
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Post by User 180565 is taking donation on Jun 7, 2019 5:01:35 GMT -8
I was away for so long that I don't remember you being a PITA and frankly, I know too many so-called *adults* that are rude, closed minded and opinionated, so no worries from me. I only care about how you are now. And we've all matured... well most of us anyway *sigh* I admit it.π§
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Mar 18, 2024 12:38:33 GMT -8
Bugme
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September 2010
bugme
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Post by Bugme on Jun 7, 2019 8:30:40 GMT -8
I don't look for apologies. I am a hard person to offend unless you attack my family or kick my dog, then all bets are off.
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Meryl
Full Member
Posts: 501
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Aug 9, 2019 9:26:31 GMT -8
Meryl
501
September 2018
goth
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Post by Meryl on Jun 7, 2019 9:36:10 GMT -8
You have a child now? Congratulations! Hey, we've all made cringeworthy posts, think nothing of it. I for one, don't remember even one cringeworthy post you may or may not have made. People don't notice as many things as you think they do! Lovely to see you again Robert
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Passionate Peruser of Prose
89748
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Feb 26, 2024 2:23:30 GMT -8
π Dianne π
"Never Judge A Book By Its Movie"
10,522
September 2006
cats57
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Post by π Dianne π on Jun 8, 2019 4:40:01 GMT -8
I was away for so long that I don't remember you being a PITA and frankly, I know too many so-called *adults* that are rude, closed minded and opinionated, so no worries from me. I only care about how you are now. And we've all matured... well most of us anyway *sigh* I admit it.π§ Uh oh...you're starting to make me spritz my coffee like Retread does. If you keep doing that then I'm not responsible for what I do!~
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Mar 28, 2024 18:22:27 GMT -8
User 180565 is taking donation
I forgot you were a person
10,420
June 2012
keenk
Pink Stars
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Post by User 180565 is taking donation on Jun 8, 2019 4:48:25 GMT -8
Uh oh...you're starting to make me spritz my coffee likeΒ Retread does.Β If you keep doing that then I'm not responsible for what I do!~ It just always blows my mind how quickly a person is judged on the internet when you have no idea who they are, what they do, or how responsible they really are. It's your life it's not the internet's life.
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Passionate Peruser of Prose
89748
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Feb 26, 2024 2:23:30 GMT -8
π Dianne π
"Never Judge A Book By Its Movie"
10,522
September 2006
cats57
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Post by π Dianne π on Jun 9, 2019 3:56:42 GMT -8
Uh oh...you're starting to make me spritz my coffee like Retread does. If you keep doing that then I'm not responsible for what I do!~ It just always blows my mind how quickly a person is judged on the internet when you have no idea who they are, what they do, or how responsible they really are. It's your life it's not the internet's life. Maybe I just need more coffee, more sleep or a pill or something, but what the heck are you talking about? I don't know you at all, I only know your on-line persona just like I 'know' anyone else around here. And right now I'm sort of questioning what I do 'know'.
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180565
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Mar 28, 2024 18:22:27 GMT -8
User 180565 is taking donation
I forgot you were a person
10,420
June 2012
keenk
Pink Stars
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Post by User 180565 is taking donation on Jun 9, 2019 5:01:58 GMT -8
It just always blows my mind how quickly a person is judged on the internet when you have no idea who they are, what they do, or how responsible they really are. It's your life it's not the internet's life. Maybe I just need more coffee, more sleep or a pill or something, but what the heck are you talking about? I don't know you at all, I only know your on-line persona just like I 'know' anyone else around here.Β And right now I'm sort of questioning what I do 'know'. I'm just speaking in general, we live in a generation where people are super sensitive no matter where you go. Work, shopping, internet. Some of us just dont know how to relax and not get so uptight about things. Especially on forums why even waste time arguing with people you dont even know.
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