How do you feel being the new guy in a forum?

[Ryanizme]

For me, being "the new guy" in an active forum seems so intimidating. Like, how do I just insert myself and be like everyone else? I find myself looking at the threads and not thinking anything is good enough to reply with. It's like walking up to a group of people you don't know and try to join in the conversation. How do you overcome this? What would be the proper etiquette for this situation?

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Create your own and not care what others think as long as you're within rules

[wildmaven]

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

For me, being "the new guy" in an active forum seems so intimidating. Like, how do I just insert myself and be like everyone else? I find myself looking at the threads and not thinking anything is good enough to reply with. It's like walking up to a group of people you don't know and try to join in the conversation. How do you overcome this? What would be the proper etiquette for this situation?

Just keep reading the threads. Eventually you'll find one that enables you to jump in with a reply. It's not a requirement to reply to everything anyway. A good way to get involved is to find one that sparks your interest and, when you make your reply to not just reply, but ask a question in return, one that drives along the conversation. Just be yourself. 

[Syko Nachoman]

When I join a new forum, I just reply to random threads with dumb jokes. And, nearly two decades later, that approach continues to pay off on a daily basis. So I guess that means... I'm still the new guy around here.

[daniel]

It's rare I join a new place. Usually I'll observe for a few days or weeks, check sticky threads, look to see how people interact and such. Then I'll jump in. I'm not, usually, an offensive poster so it's more about seeing if the community is friendly or toxic. Sometimes I'll wait and try to reply to or below people who seem reasonable to be around. Or, I'll avoid replying just below a disagreeable or toxic person unless I purposefully want to rock the boat.

that approach continues to pay off on a daily basis.

[📚 Dianne 📚]

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

For me, being "the new guy" in an active forum seems so intimidating. Like, how do I just insert myself and be like everyone else? I find myself looking at the threads and not thinking anything is good enough to reply with. It's like walking up to a group of people you don't know and try to join in the conversation. How do you overcome this? What would be the proper etiquette for this situation?

I so do understand what you're saying, I hate joining new places but sometimes I just need to (for my book reviews, advice, problem solving,freebies etc).


It's difficult especially when the forum is small and doesn't have all that many active members, or a lot of active members but with a small group who know each other very well and have a lot of insider jokes - for forums like that I will post in the Welcome thread and keep reading posts, then post a bit and see what happens. If posts from the newbie are ignored then I know it isn't a very nice place and usually leave. (unless I need their information, then I say but don't post).

[CrazyBoy]

I feel the same but I'm reading threads and replying to which I understandunderstand.I really don't care for that 100%

[Joshua Farrell]

It really depends on the forum genre, and if the forum has any large number of active members. If I can tell that there are active members, I will jump in and reply to recent topics, as well as looking for topics I may be interested in, that isn't too old.

[NightRider]

Jan 18, 2020 13:13:40 GMT -8 wildmaven said:

Just be yourself. 

Hmm...It's being myself that gets me into trouble! Too much myself! That's the trouble.

Onwards and forwards...I was actually thinking about this yesterday, about being new that is. And thinking ooh, they might wonder who I am. They all have lots of stars and I have one, and they've all been here a looooong time.

So, hello to you all, this feels a friendly place. A little about me - I'm NightRider, 28+ not a terribly serious person, but can be, interested in people, different cultures and backgrounds and have a bad habit of getting on my soapbox. (See - I said I wasn't serious!)

Seriously though, I do get interested in the happenings and events in other countries.

That's about it. I think I should stop now before I REALLY put my foot in it.

P.S. I don't do smileys, emojies, or grinning faces. And definitely NOT lolling.

[Caajscot (John)]

All depends on what Forum you join, this General Talk Forum has always been friendly to newcomers and as long as you go by the rules & regulations for every newcomer it will be plain sailing.

We get the odd weird member who will join but the Admin/Mods always keep he or she in the loop and they will either change or then just disappear. 

[Retread]

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

How do you feel being the new guy in a forum?

A mixture of apprehension and the sense of a new adventure just beginning.

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

For me, being "the new guy" in an active forum seems so intimidating.

It might seem intimidating but you should try to get past that. If the community is accepting, they'll soon forgive any mistakes you make, early on. If not, you'll know it's not a good place for you to spend your time.

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

Like, how do I just insert myself and be like everyone else? I find myself looking at the threads and not thinking anything is good enough to reply with. It's like walking up to a group of people you don't know and try to join in the conversation. How do you overcome this?

Either find a recent conversation that interest you and dive right in, or start a new conversation.

Thread Tread lightly at first, though.

Regarding: "be like everyone else" ... don't! In terms of presenting your thoughts in a manner that will be acceptable to others, that can be a good thing. But each of us brings a unique point of view to a conversation. Don't be afraid to be different.

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

What would be the proper etiquette for this situation?

That really depends on the particular forum. Read enough to get a sense of what the norm is for the forum in question. If there are rules, read them. If there are board descriptions, read those so you'll know where to start a new thread on a particular topic.

Jan 18, 2020 13:13:40 GMT -8 wildmaven said:

when you make your reply to not just reply, but ask a question in return, one that drives along the conversation.

Good advice. Also, ask new questions of those who participate in your thread if/when you see the opportunity.

The soul of any good forum is the exchange of ideas. Be open to learning what others think as well as expressing your own thoughts.

[📚 Dianne 📚]

It also helps to make friends by replying to some of the people who have replied to your thread!

[MzPanik]

Jan 18, 2020 11:12:51 GMT -8 Ryanizme said:

For me, being "the new guy" in an active forum seems so intimidating. Like, how do I just insert myself and be like everyone else? I find myself looking at the threads and not thinking anything is good enough to reply with. It's like walking up to a group of people you don't know and try to join in the conversation. How do you overcome this? What would be the proper etiquette for this situation?

There's a lot of thoughts that go through my head when I'm the newbie. One, I'm intimidated by the close-knit community that's already there. How do I insert myself here in a way that doesn't seem invasive or disrespectful. Getting a feel for how the community reacts, what makes them tick, etc. But I also go in seeing all of the opportunities for conversation and to connect to new people, making new friends.

[Belle]

   A little advice about old, established forums...  

Many of the ones on my forum have been together for close to 20 years. We were on other forums together before Proboards.  That doesn't mean we don't welcome others. We've picked up new ones over the years that have become an important part of the family. 

  My advice would be, read over the threads, get to know the people in these close knit communities. Start posting in non controversial topics, allowing members to get to know you.  Above all realize that most of the squabbling is like a family quarrel. Don't jump in taking sides. Give it time before getting in the middle of it.

    Slow & easy, you'll fit right in.   👍

[Shady]

Back when I first started joining forums, if i cared about being part of the community I’d be joining in with the more conversational threads and finding stuff I had in common with other members to talk about. Now, I quite like the anonymity of just saying what I think and not caring so much about being involved in the community aspect. The only forum I’ve joined in recent years is one where anonymity is valued on the boards I mostly post in, and I like that, even if it means that it isn’t particularly friendly sometimes.