How Admin Etiquette Can Effect Your ProBoard

[Gamoc]

Link Removed, i try not to make people mad, we fun with each other, but, we don't hate each other, i only made two of the admins (the only other admins but me) on there admins because they were great friends and i trusted them very much, they didn't hurt the forum,they helped it. I also like to have other people advertise their forum on my forum, it makes them feel good.

[myke]

pikablu said:

Link Removed, i try not to make people mad, we fun with each other, but, we don't hate each other, i only made two of the admins (the only other admins but me) on there admins because they were great friends and i trusted them very much, they didn't hurt the forum,they helped it. I also like to have other people advertise their forum on my forum, it makes them feel good.

Please be sure to read the rules before posting. We are not allowed to post links to our forums, or anyone elses forums in this board for any reason.

[Betsu]

I was just woundering is it too bad to act friendly with the memebers but be strict on rules and such forth?

i try not to be too professional when it comes to outside updates and questions and such but i keep it well organized x.x;

[∞ ConqueringWolf ∞]

deiji said:

I was just woundering is it too bad to act friendly with the memebers but be strict on rules and such forth?

i try not to be too professional when it comes to outside updates and questions and such but i keep it well organized x.x;

There should be no issue with being friendly with the members while enforcing the rules. If the members want to maintain a friendly atmosphere they shouldn't be breaking the rules to begin with and should understand when you have to enforce them. otherwise they are just looking for preferential treatment because they think they are your friend.

[Kathrin]

Personally, I think an admin needs to be nice and have a backbone at the same time.

Once, I joined a forum. Within a measly 20 minutes of being there, and about 10 posts and 5 PMs I was a full admin. Why? Because I told the admin that I thought her blinking avatar thingy looked nice even though it wasn't the greatest -- other members were trashing her about it and I was reminded of my early graphics *blush*. Anyways, she had about 30 members and the 10 that were actually nice to her were full admins. She ended up haveing her name (which was Lisa) censored and it came out as "Loser" every time by one of the admins (a member who didn't like her & made a second account). What I am trying to say with that is that even though the admin needs to be nice, He or she also needs a backbone.

On a different forum, people got banned on a daily. The owner at one point PMed me saying that my sister had insulted her and I responded that "I don't think thats true" (my sister and I are close as you can be). I was banned within 2 seconds.

I hate forums were the admin is the King/queen and is untouchable. Sometimes they explode on you and ban you for doubting them.
I agree with this 100%

Another example is an admin that people walk on egg shells around for fear of setting them off. And when I say set them off, I don't mean blowing up. I mean just the opposite. Instead they're more subtle. Taking nasty little subtle jabs or purposely bringing up a subject that they know will cause an argument just to stir the pot, so to speak.

I think an admin clearly has to be top poster, needs to be able to stand up for himself/herself (for example, that Lisa person should have banned the member that censored her name) and just be nice. I dislike forums were the first thing thats sent to me is a button that I am supposed to put on my site linking to them and a list of were I can send money to if I want to make them ad free or whatever.

The admin should never use his or her powers when someone simply disagrees. An admin needs to be able to take a "maybe you should work on the layout a little" but also know when the line is crossed. If the admin is really bad, chances are I won't join.

[nztrainguy]

Hi guys! I've just been reading through this thread and I must say I agree with with everything said here. I agree. An admin must not play favorites becuase then other users can resent other users because of their staus with their friend.
And I may be joining ProBoards! ;D
Just my 10 cents worth
nztrainguy

[skepticus]

Hi all
This is my first post here and I just had to comment on this subject. You see, the reason I am here is because I am browsing around to find a foum software package (or hosted solution) to set up a forum, as an alternative for a community I have been involved with on another forum site. The admins and facilitators there are mostly power trippers or busy-bodies with a need to organize others and hold some rank to feel important.

This may be all quite innocuous in and of itself, but combine it with a personality who is arrogant and petty, and you have a rather nasty recipie. It is worh noting, that some new participants, see this kind of attitude and think "this place is not for me", but they don't always leave straight away because, they may have made some freinds there and as these forums are often for special interests, they may have few alternatives elsewhere.

The message here is that many participants may go on grudgingly tolerating the admin arrogance factor, for want of a better place to be. So, by extention you and I can make our forums that better place to be, by simply not doing the kinds of petty things that put us above others, like fosterng a obvious hierachy. I like that sugestion above not to post as an admin, but keep a seperate account as an admin. You can login' to do admin duties on a seperate browser page, and by keeping a sepperate account, you always know which 'hat' you are wearing.

If you wanted to become an admin to make yourself feel important then you are in it for the wrong reason. If you want to foster cooperation and respect, you need to put your ego back in its box and work on making other people feel important. As an admin you will have less hard work to do if you are liked and respected, since people will want to please you. It's easier to lead an elephant down hill by the trunk, than to push it up hill by the arse.

A couple of admins and facilitators (there are numerous 'staff') at the forum I have refferd to above, are the arrogant bossy kind, and several of the others are addicted to organizational roles. You know the kind; people with 'committee disease', who like making and revizing rules and devising arbitary decission making proccesses. I had been away (off the internett) for quite some time and returned, to find that one of my closest companions in the group, had been banned. When I emailed him to ask what had happened, he told me that he had a protracted dispute with one of the admins. Two of them then gannged up and tried to bait him into troll like behaivior.

I knew this man to be an Icon of pollitenes and self control, so I was sure he would never be banned for saying anything offensive. I had seen him weather some of the most accrimonius disputes (with those same admins) and he was never drawn to adhominem attacks, insults or bad manners. Most often he was right, and only standing up for the other people in the forum, but these particular admins, would never back down or admit they might have made a mistake. It was always these admins, who would often become overbearing, condecending and impolite. Even when a perfetly rational debate had shown that they were clearly in the wrong. Then in his words:

They got frustrated when I didn't take the bait and
turned the whole forum into a pantomime game that was
annoying members. [Admin X] began publishing my private mail
to him and refusing to reply in private.

And later:

Then when things began to calm down and they saw that
they would never find a genuine reason to ban me,
[Admin Y] had enough and banned me anyway for
apologizing too much.

Well in any dispute, it takes two to tango. In a dispute between an admin and a normal participant, only one has the power to hit the 'kill user' button. My freind was the unarmed party and his loss only served to drive me away from that forum. I have replied to him and reassured him that he was the better person as usual and that I wanted to start a new forum as an alternative. I also reminded him that actualy won the dispute, in the sense that the admins made fools of themselves by banning him. Can you imagine the number of disgruntled participants that may only still be there because there is nowhere else that deals with the special intrest subject matter., and because they still have freinds there?

We should all try to remember that this authority we have (or think we have), is artificial. Anybody can start one of these forums these days. They are not corporate board rooms where people make million dollar decissions, they are informal discussion forums and people come to them on a voulantary basis. Even if participants were paid to be pressent the same rules of social dynamics apply. You will always catch more flies with honey than with vinigar.

If you wan't my advice on being a good admin, it is only that it is the same advice as being a good person. I've never been an admin before, so you might conclude that I should be a clueless newbie at this game. But I have been a person for quite some time, and if being a good admin is similar to being a good person, then I have a lifetime of experiance, both good and bad . I am not saying that I am a good person, although I try to be, and struggle with things as we all do. What I am saying is that if you strive to to be a good person, you will become a better admin. I dont see how social dynamics are all that different in these forums, from those in real life. People want to be liked. People have egos. Some have better control of thei ego than others etc etc...

FWIW, I enjoy reading books about self development, posative mental attitude and social dynamics. The best one I have ever read, is an all time classic called "How to win friends and influence people" www.amazon.com/gp/explorer/0671723650/2/ref=pd_lpo_ase/102-3285656-6910564?ie=UTF8 by Dale Carnegie. If you buy or borrow this book and read it and put into practice what you learn from it. I believe you will be a fantastic admin. If you are already a wonderfull person and there is no room for improvement, then you wont need the advice of this book. You will alredy be a perfect admin and a perfect person. Here's what sombody else (just a web page I found by Googling) had to say about it: www.mackido.com/Thought/HowToWin.html

Put simply, the book should be required reading for every human being. Do not die without reading this book. Get it now. Pay the $7.50 it costs and learn. This book has given me direction and revelation second only to the Holy Bible (and I'm no saint [colloq.]). Nearly every page of this book humbled me. It became immediately clear to me why I was unsuccessful convincing my peers and organization of my opinions.

Thanks for providing an inspiring forum, I only intended to come here for technical advice. The oportuniy to tell my tale is a great relief.

Regards Skepticus

Never begin by announcing "I am going to prove so-and-so to you." That is tantamount to saying: "I'm smarter than you." That is a challenge and arouses opposition. ***** Dale Carnegie *****

[Azzy]

I was once primary admin of a board, yet whenever it came to real decision-making, I had it so there were two other admins I would confer with and we'd put things to vote, letting the vote decide what happens. It's interesting because it really did seem to work. I think everyone was outvoted by the other two at least once, so it was apparent two people didn't just like each other and agree over everything.

Also, the greatest things about being a friendly admin is that it makes it unnecessary to have to ban people for disagreeing with you or insulting you, which is a Hitler-esque thing to do overall, unless they are doing so just for the sake of causing problems. Mainly because you'll get solid support from the people who really like that you're always kind to them and if anyone is just trying to cause problems, they will do all the talking for you. ^_^

Eh.......well, gotta mention this while I'm here. I was on this one site (a role-playing site), which had some like.....uber intricate and annoying application process just to get a position, so I made a comment about it being a bit too in-depth to the admin. For god-knows what reason, the admin sent me a list of "sample posts", along with long-winded rants of "proper ways to RP". Basically........the person mis-spelled every other word so, out of the inherent kindness deep within my heart, I corrected her spelling and grammar, put the corrections in red so she would know where they were and sent it back to her.

I got banned........

<_<

>_>

Another thing I've noticed on role-playing sites primarily is that, when talking on out of character boards, people like you a lot more if you are casual and friendly as opposed to really stiff, formal, and wordy in your posts there. Even if you're a crotchety scum-bag in character, people will still love you and think that much better of you that you can effectively play your character. ^_^

[Gamoc]

I get on a board where the admin hasn't appeared in months, The admin doesn't appear(none of them do) so a lot of the counts that need to be approved havent' been approved yet, I think if the admin is going to leave, then he/she needs to give his password to someone or give an active member a admin position that has all the same powers.

[kelendria]

I find now I'm the only active person on my forum.
I still choose to keep it running however & provide fresh topics & posts daily, for those who want to browse.
Sometimes a welcome post can help, this can sometimes make members respond & feel more at home.
You can't encourage them enough to start topics & reply though, it's like pulling teeth!

[laundrylady]

I recently started my own forum due to many of the problems you have been discussing.

Members don't like being jumped for expressing their opinions and even staff members don't like being called on the carpet every time they make a decision.

A forum should be like a friendly neighborhood bar with a relaxed atmosphere, good friends and lots of good conversation.

[Daydream]

Very well said ConqueringWolf/Kathrin and the others. I don't have the most posts on my forum ( I believe I am 4th or 5th) and it is not because I am not there. I have selected a good bunch of moderators that for the most part speak for me.

This does not mean I am unapproachable as I do interact with any member and will crack a few jokes as well. I believe ( who really knows for sure) that I have established the right persona of friendly with authority.

At least I certainly hope so.

[Nimthiriel]

I agree completely with what everyone has said. I like to be friendly with my members, yet if one of them breaks a rule, I will enforce it. After all, I am the admin, it's my job and the other members should realize this anyways. It's really awful when an admin thinks he/she is all-powerful and doesn't interact with the members of the forum, because that doesn't create a nice forum. It would most likely scare the members into not posting. The admin should also be very understanding towards members. If a member breaks a rule, then kindly tell them so, don't yell at them or ban them (depending on what rule is broken, really). The members should feel that they can talk to the admin if they have a problem, and not have to fear that they are going to get yelled at.

[Shentino]

Barring obvious exceptions, a member should be able to predict EXACTLY what consequences will be if he does anything, good or bad, at least with his "rules record" and stuff. Very little, if anything, should be left to the whims of the staff. Unless a rule has been made in advance, no member should be punished for breaking it unless it was obviously inappropriate.

You can be the most cruel, spoiled, unreasonable, strict, and biased administrator you want to be, and it still won't kill your forum as quickly as being unpredictable, arbitrary and capricious.

Being a member on your forum shouldn't be a game of russian roulette OR wheel of fortune as far as getting along with staff is concerned.

[WilburyMania!]

Sorry for bumping this.

My friend (not me) does this, but it WORKS.

If there is a major conflict in the forum, and she can't resolve it, she asks a non-biased 3rd party. Usually somebody unrelated to the forum.

She once asked one of her members. It was because one of the admins made a thread the other one didn't like... the member said to just rename it. ;D it worked!

This also reminds me of ANOTHER FORUM, all the regular members are a clique. Its because of one admin. If she's not around, the other members seem...almost normal.

But when she's around....let's just say one member got banned for making a suggestion (the moderator's names were hard to read, so she suggested making them a bit darker)...she got banned for "flaming" the forum. She was away when the member made the suggestion, the other admins were considering it. Even worse, that admin was making fun of the member afterwards.