contacting a forum owner or administrator

[skyclouds9]

Forum URL: http://staffroom

I have recently been banned from the Staffroom Forum through a post of mine which has led to a misunderstanding. I am a retired school teacher and found this forum very enjoyable in my old age and I would like to contact the owner or a moderator of the forum to explain the misunderstanding and hope they will re-instate me. If you cannot give me their contact email, please could you ask them to email me?

[Retread]

Feb 19, 2021 7:05:34 GMT -8 skyclouds9 said:

Forum URL: http://staffroom

I have recently been banned from the Staffroom Forum through a post of mine which has led to a misunderstanding. I am a retired school teacher and found this forum very enjoyable in my old age and I would like to contact the owner or a moderator of the forum to explain the misunderstanding and hope they will re-instate me. If you cannot give me their contact email, please could you ask them to email me?

Hi skyclouds9

You'll want to read this Help Guide article: Help I was Banned.

Unfortunately, ProBoards policy is such that ProBoards Admins will not contact the staff of a forum on our behalf, when we are banned from their forum.

[Dazzal]

skyclouds9 Just a suggestion. Is there another forum that the owner/staff posts on, so you can PM that member there and explain what happened.

[Kami]

Feb 19, 2021 8:41:24 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

skyclouds9 Just a suggestion. Is there another forum that the owner/staff posts on, so you can PM that member there and explain what happened.

I would actually highly advise against this. If an admin has decided to ban a user, it borders on creepy / inappropriate to start hunting for their other recreational spots to contact them. If anything, this usually reinforces that the decision to ban that user was the correct one.

If there is no publicly available contact information for the admins, or you don't have a friend on the forum that can act as an intermediary on your behalf, you just need to accept it and move on. It's always unfortunate when this needs to happen over a misunderstanding, but pleading your cause by overstepping boundaries is not the solution.

[Dazzal]

Feb 19, 2021 9:29:34 GMT -8 Kami said:

Feb 19, 2021 8:41:24 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

skyclouds9 Just a suggestion. Is there another forum that the owner/staff posts on, so you can PM that member there and explain what happened.

I would actually highly advise against this. If an admin has decided to ban a user, it borders on creepy / inappropriate to start hunting for their other recreational spots to contact them. If anything, this usually reinforces that the decision to ban that user was the correct one.

If there is no publicly available contact information for the admins, or you don't have a friend on the forum that can act as an intermediary on your behalf, you just need to accept it and move on. It's always unfortunate when this needs to happen over a misunderstanding, but pleading your cause by overstepping boundaries is not the solution.

Sorry, if it's not the appropriate way. It has helped me, because of misunderstandings to get back on track with the owner.

[Kami]

Feb 19, 2021 9:39:49 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

Feb 19, 2021 9:29:34 GMT -8 Kami said:

I would actually highly advise against this. If an admin has decided to ban a user, it borders on creepy / inappropriate to start hunting for their other recreational spots to contact them. If anything, this usually reinforces that the decision to ban that user was the correct one.

If there is no publicly available contact information for the admins, or you don't have a friend on the forum that can act as an intermediary on your behalf, you just need to accept it and move on. It's always unfortunate when this needs to happen over a misunderstanding, but pleading your cause by overstepping boundaries is not the solution.

Sorry, if it's not the appropriate way. It has helped me, because of misunderstandings to get back on track with the owner.

I am truly glad it's worked out for you, but you should consider yourself lucky that it did and that the forum owner didn't freak out about being pursued by a banned member on other platforms.

You don't know why people are banned, not really. All you have to go on are what they've said. Giving advice to reach out to the staff that banned them on other platforms without knowing the staff's side of the misunderstanding is probably not a great idea. While it's perfectly fine to give people the benefit of the doubt that they're being honest, spare a thought for the staff that banned them as well. Even if it is a misunderstanding, following staff who have indicated they no longer want a member in their space on other platforms  to force them to engage in a conversation is overstepping boundaries (the staff could have very well initiated the conversation prior to the ban if they were interested in having one).

I cannot even begin to count the number of threads in this support forum alone from panicked admins worried because banned members keep finding them to beg to be unbanned; I've also personally had people follow me to other platforms / social media, and my co-admin had someone once find an email she didn't use AND address her by her legal name, which is not posted anywhere on the internet. This suggestion simply opens up a can of worms that oversteps boundaries for most people.

Whether or not this worked for you personally doesn't change the fact that you did overstep your boundaries by reaching out to a person who had removed you from their space. I'm really glad that it worked out for you, and that the admin wasn't bothered by that overstep, but I encourage you not to recommend it for others since you don't know the context of the entire situation.

(Which isn't to say that the OP is a malicious person, for clarity, but rather that overall, broadly giving this advice is a misstep, even if well intentioned.)

[Dazzal]

Feb 19, 2021 10:37:52 GMT -8 Kami said:

Feb 19, 2021 9:39:49 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

Sorry, if it's not the appropriate way. It has helped me, because of misunderstandings to get back on track with the owner.

I am truly glad it's worked out for you, but you should consider yourself lucky that it did and that the forum owner didn't freak out about being pursued by a banned member on other platforms.

You don't know why people are banned, not really. All you have to go on are what they've said. Giving advice to reach out to the staff that banned them on other platforms without knowing the staff's side of the misunderstanding is probably not a great idea. While it's perfectly fine to give people the benefit of the doubt that they're being honest, spare a thought for the staff that banned them as well. Even if it is a misunderstanding, following staff who have indicated they no longer want a member in their space on other platforms  to force them to engage in a conversation is overstepping boundaries (the staff could have very well initiated the conversation prior to the ban if they were interested in having one).

I cannot even begin to count the number of threads in this support forum alone from panicked admins worried because banned members keep finding them to beg to be unbanned; I've also personally had people follow me to other platforms / social media, and my co-admin had someone once find an email she didn't use AND address her by her legal name, which is not posted anywhere on the internet. This suggestion simply opens up a can of worms that oversteps boundaries for most people.

Whether or not this worked for you personally doesn't change the fact that you did overstep your boundaries by reaching out to a person who had removed you from their space. I'm really glad that it worked out for you, and that the admin wasn't bothered by that overstep, but I encourage you not to recommend it for others since you don't know the context of the entire situation.

(Which isn't to say that the OP is a malicious person, for clarity, but rather that overall, broadly giving this advice is a misstep, even if well intentioned.)

I truly understand what you are stating here, Kami You have years of experience in helping out on the support forum, and you do a really good job. I have had members that I have banned, reach out to me and apologize for their behavior on my forum, asking for a second chance. It has worked out for the better. I can only go by my experiences in running my own forum. I certainly don't mind if you want to delete my posts.

[Kami]

Feb 19, 2021 11:06:49 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

Feb 19, 2021 10:37:52 GMT -8 Kami said:

I am truly glad it's worked out for you, but you should consider yourself lucky that it did and that the forum owner didn't freak out about being pursued by a banned member on other platforms.

You don't know why people are banned, not really. All you have to go on are what they've said. Giving advice to reach out to the staff that banned them on other platforms without knowing the staff's side of the misunderstanding is probably not a great idea. While it's perfectly fine to give people the benefit of the doubt that they're being honest, spare a thought for the staff that banned them as well. Even if it is a misunderstanding, following staff who have indicated they no longer want a member in their space on other platforms  to force them to engage in a conversation is overstepping boundaries (the staff could have very well initiated the conversation prior to the ban if they were interested in having one).

I cannot even begin to count the number of threads in this support forum alone from panicked admins worried because banned members keep finding them to beg to be unbanned; I've also personally had people follow me to other platforms / social media, and my co-admin had someone once find an email she didn't use AND address her by her legal name, which is not posted anywhere on the internet. This suggestion simply opens up a can of worms that oversteps boundaries for most people.

Whether or not this worked for you personally doesn't change the fact that you did overstep your boundaries by reaching out to a person who had removed you from their space. I'm really glad that it worked out for you, and that the admin wasn't bothered by that overstep, but I encourage you not to recommend it for others since you don't know the context of the entire situation.

(Which isn't to say that the OP is a malicious person, for clarity, but rather that overall, broadly giving this advice is a misstep, even if well intentioned.)

I truly understand what you are stating here, Kami You have years of experience in helping out on the support forum, and you do a really good job. I have had members that I have banned, reach out to me and apologize for their behavior on my forum, asking for a second chance. It has worked out for the better. I can only go by my experiences in running my own forum. I certainly don't mind if you want to delete my posts.

It's not that I am against banned members reaching out, but simply that advising that someone go hunting for contact information that isn't provided is a can of worms that can often lead to social discomfort and sometimes harassment. Again, I'm happy it's worked out well for you, but that's why I'm posting my responses: it works for you, but it's not something that should be broadly advised for every situation. I am not suggesting you personally stop doing things / stop accepting when others do, but rather advising that you exercise caution with recommending this method without knowing the context of the staff's decision to ban.

Also, I am still just a member here, not a mod (: 

[skycloud59]

Many thanks for this very helpful and sensible conversation.

[Dazzal]

Feb 19, 2021 11:19:20 GMT -8 Kami said:

Feb 19, 2021 11:06:49 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

I truly understand what you are stating here, Kami You have years of experience in helping out on the support forum, and you do a really good job. I have had members that I have banned, reach out to me and apologize for their behavior on my forum, asking for a second chance. It has worked out for the better. I can only go by my experiences in running my own forum. I certainly don't mind if you want to delete my posts.

It's not that I am against banned members reaching out, but simply that advising that someone go hunting for contact information that isn't provided is a can of worms that can often lead to social discomfort and sometimes harassment. Again, I'm happy it's worked out well for you, but that's why I'm posting my responses: it works for you, but it's not something that should be broadly advised for every situation. I am not suggesting you personally stop doing things / stop accepting when others do, but rather advising that you exercise caution with recommending this method without knowing the context of the staff's decision to ban.

Also, I am still just a member here, not a mod (: 

Thanks for your response, Kami Yes, I agree, it does depend on circumstances. I've been running my forum since 2007, on other hosts before I came to Proboards, and you meet all sorts of members. Some easy to get along with and others that are toxic. I thought you were on the staff here, because you are in red. My bad for the confusion.

[Kami]

Feb 20, 2021 16:43:01 GMT -8 Dazzal said:

Feb 19, 2021 11:19:20 GMT -8 Kami said:

It's not that I am against banned members reaching out, but simply that advising that someone go hunting for contact information that isn't provided is a can of worms that can often lead to social discomfort and sometimes harassment. Again, I'm happy it's worked out well for you, but that's why I'm posting my responses: it works for you, but it's not something that should be broadly advised for every situation. I am not suggesting you personally stop doing things / stop accepting when others do, but rather advising that you exercise caution with recommending this method without knowing the context of the staff's decision to ban.

Also, I am still just a member here, not a mod (: 

Thanks for your response, Kami Yes, I agree, it does depend on circumstances. I've been running my forum since 2007, on other hosts before I came to Proboards, and you meet all sorts of members. Some easy to get along with and others that are toxic. I thought you were on the staff here, because you are in red. My bad for the confusion.

I'm pink! I am in a special member group, you got that correct tho, because I'm working with the staff on v6.

But yeah, just generally it's advised not to reach out unless there's publicly available contact info because we as support helpers never have the full story and we want to err on the side of caution (generally speaking) just in case (:

[:~:Sarapha:~:]

I also agree that hunting down other places that the admin may be is a bad idea. If you had formed a friendship with the admin prior to banning and still had means to contact them, that is different. Over the years, I've had banned members approach me in the places we used to talk before banning, asking for a second chance. I have also reached out to previously banned members in our contact areas to ask if they wanted a second chance, and it has always worked out well. However, I have also had people discover my personal social media and emails that I did not provide to them prior to banning, asking for second chances and those people were promptly blocked.

There's a difference between calling an old friend to rekindle a friendship and calling every name in the phone book that matches theirs until you get them. One is decidedly stalker behavior.

[Dazzal]

I certainly was not promoting "hunting down" a forum owner/admin, which this threads seems to indicate. I can see all sides of the spectrum, and why or why not to pursue. The author of this thread seems like a very reasonable, retired teacher and calmly asked a request. Kami gave her suggestions, and they were well taken. I realize that owners have a right to ban, and they have their own reasons for doing so. There are always two sides to a story, and only skyclouds9 can make that judgement.

The written word can be easily read into. It's extremely hard to communicate our feelings on matters, because we cannot see facial or hand gestures. I would never promote being hostile to a forum owner. I can only go by my experiences in what has worked for me.