Does your parents still help you?

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Sometimes I believe that asking parents for help later on in life is part of the normal. I'm 31 currently I'm able to pay my own rent bills make food etc but sometimes simple tasks get in the way of certain things. I've always had dark family history but as I'm getting older I'm trying to put it past me. My mom's still willing to do simple tasks for me such as picking up something from the store or helping me get a pet to the vet. I don't see any shame in that as long as you don't get too reliable on them.

I guess a parent always sees their adult child as a child still and is part of the norm. Not everyone's around forever if they do something for you try doing something in return.

[Nebulous]

My parents aren't around anymore but I do have an adult child who lives with me. She doesn't seem anywhere near moving out and living on her own. Granted she's only been an adult for a year and a half now.

[wildmaven]

My parents both passed in November, but when they were alive they helped out when needed, it's what families do.

When I was in college, my mom would go to my apartment while I was in class and fill my fridge with food as a surprise occasionally. I always had to make sure my place was clean just in case Mom dropped by unannounced, LOL.

My parents were very big on helping others, even if they weren't family. Our home became known as the place to go when you needed help. We gave overnight help to one of my friends who had been assaulted by a parent, my dad went to the aid of my friend who was babysitting and the parents didn't come home, and we were the unofficial family to my brother's friend who had lost his mom.

My mom was always there when I had "boy trouble," even into my 20's and 30's.

When I divorced while living in NY, they drove from Las Vegas to help me get the house ready for sale, and then drove back to Vegas with my German shepherd so I wouldn't have to worry about him with potential buyers coming and going.

I miss my parents.

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Feb 20, 2023 3:29:14 GMT -8 Nebulous said:

My parents aren't around anymore but I do have an adult child who lives with me. She doesn't seem anywhere near moving out and living on her own. Granted she's only been an adult for a year and a half now.

Give it some time, theirs many 30 year olds that fall on their feet and ask to move back in so be prepared for that. I have a buddy in college and works part time in the medical field that still has to live with his mom because of everything being so expensive.

[Nebulous]

Feb 20, 2023 14:08:23 GMT -8 User 180565 is taking donation said:

Feb 20, 2023 3:29:14 GMT -8 Nebulous said:

My parents aren't around anymore but I do have an adult child who lives with me. She doesn't seem anywhere near moving out and living on her own. Granted she's only been an adult for a year and a half now.

Give it some time, theirs many 30 year olds that fall on their feet and ask to move back in so be prepared for that. I have a buddy in college and works part time in the medical field that still has to live with his mom because of everything being so expensive.

Well she is always welcome at my home.  ❤️


However for me personally, I moved out of my moms house and been on my own ever since. Never asked for any help whatsoever from anyone.  

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Feb 20, 2023 14:17:58 GMT -8 Nebulous said:

Feb 20, 2023 14:08:23 GMT -8 User 180565 is taking donation said:

Give it some time, theirs many 30 year olds that fall on their feet and ask to move back in so be prepared for that. I have a buddy in college and works part time in the medical field that still has to live with his mom because of everything being so expensive.

Well she is always welcome at my home.  ❤️


However for me personally, I moved out of my moms house and been on my own ever since. Never asked for any help whatsoever from anyone.  

I personally think the strongest thing we can do for people is ask for help, I didn't move out until I was 25 granted I was going through family drama. Even though I'm on low income living I feel safe enough knowing I can get my bills paid. I've acquired most the things I could need, they aren't really flashy or top of the line but it works and is useable. Kids sometimes need that extra push but too much of that pressure can drive a person crazy. Ask and give back if you can is my thoughts as I'm getting older if you do things you get things back and if you get nothing back from that person or be taking advantage of they get booted out.

[Nebulous]

Feb 20, 2023 15:11:15 GMT -8 User 180565 is taking donation said:

Feb 20, 2023 14:17:58 GMT -8 Nebulous said:

Well she is always welcome at my home.  ❤️


However for me personally, I moved out of my moms house and been on my own ever since. Never asked for any help whatsoever from anyone.  

I personally think the strongest thing we can do for people is ask for help, I didn't move out until I was 25 granted I was going through family drama. Even though I'm on low income living I feel safe enough knowing I can get my bills paid. I've acquired most the things I could need, they aren't really flashy or top of the line but it works and is useable. Kids sometimes need that extra push but too much of that pressure can drive a person crazy. Ask and give back if you can is my thoughts as I'm getting older if you do things you get things back and if you get nothing back from that person or be taking advantage of they get booted out.

I moved out at 18, was kicked out by my mother.  I suppose if I was desperate I would have asked for help but I never really let myself get to the point of desperation.  I always worked and made money for myself.  There was a few times when I was between jobs but I had made it my full time job to be applying all over the place until I got a new one.  I only ever got on unemployment benefits once and I only used it for 2 months. 

[Linette]

I'm 51 and left my bf after 20 years of alcohol abuse from him, when we got kicked out of the condo we were renting I took advantage of that and asked my dad for help, and he joyfully accepted as well as my brother, the 2 people I never got along with and dookie put after my mom passed away three years prior. I don't know what has happened to those two in the three years I was not a part of their life, but I like it, and I am not complaining, I'm enjoying my family very much.

During my nightmare relationship I have looked in every nook and cranny for help without losing anything and everything, including all I had left, my cat. No luck whatsoever, so I got into good paying jobs and no luck there. One manager fires me for not being able to memorize the whole produce section and another stressed me out, so horribly I broke all my back teeth on both side, one side on the top and the other side at the bottom. My dad vouched for that dental bill, only to learn later that she was almost fired for her temper with coworkers as well.

I have no luck wherever I go, so now I am here, working, but not enough to get my own place. Somewhere, somehow I will eventually get lucky and things will work out, I'm not giving up hope, I made it this far and out of that horrible scene and gained my family back. Fate has its way, when the time is right it will happen.

I have gained some old friends back here at PBS and have made some new ones as well. Love giving them gifts, I'm a super giver, it's my way of showing appreciation and friendship to those I care about.

Anyway, everyone has a story, this one is mine. 🥰🦋

This is my new board: (removed)

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Feb 20, 2023 17:30:10 GMT -8 Nebulous said:

Feb 20, 2023 15:11:15 GMT -8 User 180565 is taking donation said:

I personally think the strongest thing we can do for people is ask for help, I didn't move out until I was 25 granted I was going through family drama. Even though I'm on low income living I feel safe enough knowing I can get my bills paid. I've acquired most the things I could need, they aren't really flashy or top of the line but it works and is useable. Kids sometimes need that extra push but too much of that pressure can drive a person crazy. Ask and give back if you can is my thoughts as I'm getting older if you do things you get things back and if you get nothing back from that person or be taking advantage of they get booted out.

I moved out at 18, was kicked out by my mother.  I suppose if I was desperate I would have asked for help but I never really let myself get to the point of desperation.  I always worked and made money for myself.  There was a few times when I was between jobs but I had made it my full time job to be applying all over the place until I got a new one.  I only ever got on unemployment benefits once and I only used it for 2 months. 

Yeah I worked 2 jobs for a little while 14 hour shifts were killing me but from going back and forth from retail overnights to janitorial at a hospital restrained me. I was getting paid every Friday putting money in the bank. But like I said the additional stress and restrain of mental health, it was killing me. I wanted to work for nice things but quickly learned that having the basics was just enough. Though obviously leaving jobs means less money I'm glad I put away what I did when I could to not feel that desperate and stressed but the support of friends and family when I need additional help is a relief.

[Darkmage4]

My wife and I lived out in our own for maybe like 3 years? My mom moved from the neighborhood to the country, and was begging us to move out there for those 3 years. We decided to move back in with my mom when a block party ended in tragedy. Which then eventually became the norm. We didn’t want to be around that after the first gun shots. (They got the guy. Gang initiation, scratch gun serial. Etc) so we decided to move out and move in with my mom. It’s been 5 years, and it’s been good! We have our own money. But she does still help us when needed, and we help her when needed.

[Assembly Boards Representative]

The very idea that a child has to move out of their parent's house when they turn 18 is strictly an American cultural thing since in other parts of the world the family unit is more tightly nit. The very idea goes against the very fiber of what makes humans, human. Mostly because the U.S. government, corporations, and any one in a position of power felt threatened by the family structure so they influenced the general conscience that it was socially expected of someone to move out on their own or else they are deemed a failure. Despite the fact that there are numerous societies and cultures where this isn't even a thing. The only logical reason to leave home is if your family is toxic and it's effecting your own mental health and well-being. Plus in the days of inflation, it seems like a lot of Americans are waking up to the fact that leaving home isn't a feasible decision and may ruin themselves due to insufficient financing. There is no shame in it so don't let society try to tell you otherwise.

[emilyd]

I've not spoken to mine for.. well, 10 years- maybe more

[Bones]

I lost both my parents as well, a very long time ago (25yrs+ for the first); so have been healthily independant for quite some time. It was a struggle in the beginning of course, as I went into my 20's but now a couple of decades on I get by.

[🎶Sossity🎶]

Mar 4, 2023 9:25:13 GMT -8 emilyd said:

I've not spoken to mine for.. well, 10 years- maybe more

😢

[Nscalerr]

I am still living at home partly due to the way rent is out here and because mum needs help at times with various things.