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Post by AndrettiFan on Sept 27, 2010 16:03:38 GMT -8
They would make the perfect couple.
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Post by pawl on Sept 27, 2010 17:18:45 GMT -8
... with maybe one or two minor stipulations.
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Post by brokenmalice on Sept 27, 2010 17:39:05 GMT -8
Ideals are for people who labor under the delusion that they're actually going to find someone that fits them; however, they're in for a world of disappointment when they never do.
This doesn't, however, go for the people in this thread who described the people they're already with.
That being said, I don't have an ideal partner; however, the person I'm seeing, I guess, is someone I wouldn't mind having as a partner.
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Post by bagheera on Sept 27, 2010 17:43:52 GMT -8
Not too many physical qualifications. I do prefer certain races over others, certain ages over others, and so on, but I recognize that love will rarely fit the standards you set for it as far as bodies, hair colours, etc. That said, I do know what I need in order to be happy and fulfilled from prior experiences and introspection.
A mature and smart sense of humour -- no fart jokes, please. Be able to take it like a man when I insult him or her with sarcasm and dish it back without making it sound like they're dishing out revenge of some kind and turning it into a petty one-for-one game. Intelligent and rational, not too emotional... I'm very logical, so I need someone with more emotion to balance me out, but not to an extreme or we'll conflict too much. Been there and done that. Naturally confident; not arrogant, but doesn't need me to hike up their self-esteem. Low-maintenance is a must! Secure about themselves. This is kind of necessary in order to take my sarcasm. Has his or her own life, interests, and friends that they're willing to share; understands that a partnership isn't two halves: it's two whole people creating something together, not two desperate halves who need each other to make themselves whole and cling together all the time. Doesn't take himself or herself too seriously. See the note above, about sarcasm. Understands that I won't take them seriously all the time, either, and I rarely take myself seriously. Life's no fun when you're serious all the time. Assertive enough to understand when I'm dodging an issue and call me out on my BS... don't let me walk all over you, basically, and I'll return the favour. Confident but civilized; absolutely no violence, not a street-brawler, not an aggressive alpha or a b**** to others for whatever reason. Treats everyone with respect, whether the other person is a waitress or a doctor. Genuinely cares about helping others and holds the door for people, does random acts of kindness, volunteers, or at least smiles to people instead of going around frowning all the time. Passionate about something, has an aspiration that really feeds their soul. Not a lame, "I'm devoting my life to something" and never following through or a complete and total obsession -- a balance is nice. Not dogmatic about religion. Total turn-off, and most religious fanatics are too closed-minded to listen to my opinions anyway. Plus, they tend to disagree on matters that are very close to me. And finally, not ugly (though my "standards" aren't conventional) or overweight; caring about their appearance is more important than having a perfectly proportioned face.
Yep. I'm willing to wait until he or she comes along. I've found a few guys and girls like this already, but the physical chemistry hasn't been right, either. I know it'll happen someday.
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Post by AndrettiFan on Sept 27, 2010 17:48:06 GMT -8
... with maybe one or two minor stipulations. You like white teeth and plucked eyebrows? LOL
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Post by Morgey on Sept 27, 2010 18:59:41 GMT -8
He'd have to be fairly independent. No one is so awesome that I need to spend every last second with them. He'd have to share my sense of humour as miserable whining disguised as wit is the only way I know how to communicate. And I was going to say hideously wealthy, but that would probably just end up annoying me.
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Post by Artemis on Sept 27, 2010 19:08:07 GMT -8
I'm sure I could go on and on, since I'm actually quite picky, but at the same time I can sum it up rather nicely: I want someone who I can act like myself around, someone who appreciates me for who I am.
-I can change certain things for people, but there's a limit. -I can respect what a person believes, even if I don't agree with it, and my belief must also be respected. -I have a tendency to be rather blunt, but never purposefully rude or disrespectful. I'd like someone who doesn't need everything sugar-coated. -My ideal partner doesn't like drama. I want someone who would rather talk things out respectfully rather than engage in passive-aggressive tactics, lies and mind games. At the same time, if mistakes are made, I want us both to be able to forgive and move on. -I want someone who can trust me and who can keep an open mind. -I would like someone who is confident, yet someone who is willing to work in a relationship as a team, as opposed to being overly independent. -I would like someone who accepts my curiosity about the world and things I do not understand. Many times I will find something nonsensical, but that doesn't mean I am not willing to learn. I would like someone who can help answer my questions rather than berate me for daring to wonder. -I want someone who knows that I trust them and doesn't feel like they have to dodge around issues, hide anything or sugar-coat things for me. -I want someone who knows I will accept them for who they are and what they do. -I want someone who has a sense of humor, and can just as easily accept mine. I want someone who doesn't take every step of life completely seriously, but can still take the initiative when need be. -Similar passions, interests and hobbies are a plus, though not quite necessary. It just gives us more to talk about (even if most of those conversations are taken up by... well, she knows >.>). -Chocolate. Can I get a woot woot.
Mostly it all fits into what I said at first. A girl I feel I can be myself around is great. There are a few finer details to that of course, but that's one sure sign that I probably can at least relate to them and can start something off with. And so far that's proven to be true; I'm currently with someone who matches all of that and pretty much everything else I could think of.
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Post by aether on Sept 27, 2010 19:25:01 GMT -8
The X-factor, I suppose, would be attraction. That's not just saying that the person has to be hot, but I should at least be attracted to her. The next important thing is independence. I'm independent and I don't like people who cling to other people, so I think I can only accept the same from my ideal person. I'd like the women to have an wide sense of humor and open to different interests. Also, and ideally, I'd like her to have pretty eyes.
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Post by huskette on Sept 27, 2010 19:37:42 GMT -8
The guys I've dated have been so varied... But they have taught me a lot about what I do and don't like in a partner, so here's the list.
He has to have a spine. I have dated waaaaaay too many indecisive pushovers, I am done. Completely done. If I can bully him and he can't give back as good as he gets and he can't stand up to me, if I have to make every single decision about where we're going, what we're doing all the time, he's gone. A confident man who is not going to apologise for existing is a lot more attractive than the cringing little boy who shakes in terror when you look at him because he can't believe that "OMG a girl likes me!!!!!". No more.
Has to have at least a passing acquaintance with reality. I love imagination, I love creativity and no, I do not consider LARPing and things of that nature being delusional unless it carries over into your everyday life. If you think you were a wizard in a past life whose soul has recently been liberated from the book you were trapped in, I will be looking elsewhere for love. Ditto if you're sure you're a woodnymph or a vampire or a werewolf. And yes, several of these examples come from real life people I know.
I need someone who is a good partner, but who also is able to function on their own. I cannot be someone's only focus in life, it freaks me out. Someone who has their own interests, their own friends and their own work/school to occupy them is good. I don't want to be just an afterthought, but I will not be your world, sorry. Teenage romance novels try to make this sound appealing but it's really not... I need balance, not desperate neediness.
Someone smart is a must. I do not necessarily mean educated. I know several people who barely got their GED who are still really well-rounded, interesting, intelligent individuals. I also know a lot of people with a masters degree and no brain to go with.
Unconventional is probably best... I don't really fit into a lot of traditional ideals, although I can chameleon into them well enough and I don't want to have to spend my life explaining why running away with the circus is a totally viable, logical, rational career choice.
As for age and physical... I don't usually date guys younger than me and I find that dating guys more than 7 or 8 years older than me at this point in my life is a little sketchy, but I'm flexible on that. I'm not that picky about the physical aspect, but not obese and clean are pretty much a given in my mind. I know what eau de unwashed person smells like, and it is not an odor I like.
As a plus... has to get along with my dog? It's a stupid criteria, I know, but I don't want to ever be put in a situation where I have to choose between my dog and my boyfriend. I mean it's not necessary to love and adore my dog, but at least to respect that he's important to me and not try and force me to get rid of him.
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Post by Less.Than.Three. on Sept 27, 2010 22:23:31 GMT -8
Intelligent, courteous, and driven. I'm very attracted to those who can get me to think; I appreciate those who are honest enough to challenge my views (while being respectful). My ideal partner has thought enough about the world around him to form strong opinions, but those beliefs shouldn't be set in stone - he should balance conviction with open-mindedness, something that's hard to do. Courtesy is also important. This doesn't mean he has to bend over backwards for me (that's a little bit off-putting, if anything) but I like to see someone who has basic manners and respect for those around him. That means holding the door open for whoever happens to be there (not just a girl he's trying to get with!), being polite and patient with customer service workers, and so on. Then there's ambition. He doesn't need to be aiming for President, but still, he has to have a forward drive. He should be working towards something -- and on that note, I'd like to see that whatever he does, he does well. If someone half-asses his day-to-day life, there's a good chance he'd half-butt a relationship as well. I'm very drawn to hard work and dedication. It's also important to me that he be comfortable enough with himself to pursue the things he enjoys, whether or not they're considered cool, manly, etc. Whether that means enjoying nerdy hobbies, being in a math club, or just painting or cooking, it's great to see someone do what they enjoy. Men who think only about impressing girls don't impress me at all. There's a lot more, of course, but it's all pretty obvious: possessing a sense of humor (that complements mine!), at least somewhat attractive (though I tend to go for all ages, ethnicities, and looks), and with any luck... he should be perfect! I told myself I wouldn't write a novel-length post about this, but I did anyway. And I didn't even mention his love for travel!
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Guess who's back?
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Post by Girl Dale on Sept 27, 2010 22:38:51 GMT -8
Sense of humor, like the mature immaturity, if that makes sense. Older than me by a bit... Cute face... does not have a drastic pot belly edit: Someone with a life
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