Parents' Standards

[elli]

Question: those of you that are still in high school, do your parents expect you to live up to the "straight As" standard? What happens when you don't, no matter what other achievements you might bring home?

Those of you that are parents: do/did you expect perfect grades out of your kids?

No more than twenty minutes ago, my mom and I got into a bit of an argument about my English grade. Our school puts our progress up on the internet using an application that you need to be registered to use, and she saw that although it's only halfway through the term, some of my grades are a bit poor. Well, this upset her and she wouldn't leave me alone about it.

After so much, a person just can't take the nagging any more. I got ticked and told her to butt out -- I'll get it taken care of. This is never good enough for her, and she just kept going. The woman listens to nothing I say, I swear. Last term, I got nearly straight As and brought home so many awards, certifications, and plaques that I had to find a folder for them. What does she do when I hand them to her? She glances, then shoves them in a pile of papers on the kitchen counter. Because of that, I've already lost several certification papers.

I can't help but ask her when this sort of thing happens why all the good I do is never enough for her. When I reminded her about the nearly straight As, all she said was, "That's great. Nearly."

Sometimes, I think I could end up Vice President and all she'd have to tell me was, "Yeah, but not President."

It just makes you feel rotten. Like why try if it's never good enough?

Parents, please don't do this to your kids. Pay more attention to the good things, not the bad. Don't even mention the bad -- we know what we're doing wrong at this age.

Sorry for the rant.

[Derek‽]

I trained my mother to handle poor grades. When your grades are abysmal but suddenly end up alright at the end of the semester, it wears the parent down quickly. It's not ideal for everyone, and the key is to blow off the parent completely until they're at their wits' end. You seem like an overachiever so I don't think you could pull it off. I'm sure you wouldn't care to try.

But the yelling about grades did exist from time to time, and it made no sense. What did she hope to accomplish with the yelling? What more could I do to fix an already-established grade than to just work harder? Perhaps she wanted me to invent a time machine so that I could go back and work harder in the past. But if a kid can invent a time machine, the parent's thinking too small if they're still worried about grades. >.>

[Strata Spartan]

Oh I feel your pain Elli. There were times that when I was in high school, I got off to slow starts sometimes with my interim. (probably just coming off of summer break) They were average grades like A's B's, and C's, and boy oh boy my parents were peeved. I'm all like "Guys! I can make a perfect 180 and turn this all around. It's just a bloody interim!"

[Thesealion]

I have only two B's and nothing below so my mom is fine. My dad gets mad though because he wants me to have strait A's...

[Robyn]

My parents just want me to do my best and get disappointed when I don't show them I can do my best.

[iCraft]

A's and B's my parents are ok with my grades as long as i dont bring home C's Or D's

[Notta Hughmen]

My family has recently grown a bit more unconventional- after a bad experience with a school district we switched to homeschooling. We don't follow a set curriculum or give out grades. But I'm still a student, I learn and figure things out, just differently than what would be done in a classroom. But I was in traditional school until after freshman year of high school. My parents always told me to do my best, if my best was a C they didn't mind. I was probably harder on myself about grades than they ever were...

[Thesealion]

I am homeschooled too but i have grades. I do some of my classes over the phone and some with my mom. If i am not getting A's and B's they will get mad. The main reason is all of us in our family have had other members who waited time in high school and then flunked out of college.

[Mr. Spartan]

Dec 9, 2010 20:06:50 GMT -8 Notta Hughmen said:

My parents always told me to do my best, if my best was a C they didn't mind. I was probably harder on myself about grades than they ever were...

mine are the same. I had two low grades this past marking period (term) and they were angry at first but I told them I'd been staying after for help and that made them realize I'm actually trying. thank god for after school help. it's saved me a lot.

[Thesealion]

Well the thing with me is i don't spend a LOT of time on school...i prob should spend more

[Foozlebootz]

I expected my children to work to their potential. If they had a bad term in a subject or two, we would sit down and figure out how to improve. There was no yelling, only encouragement. Now they do the same with their children. It makes for harmonious interactions.

[Thesealion]

Yea my parents don't yell...they just feel disappointed in me...and that is worse than yelling...

[Dumezil]

I used to get straight A's and it was accepted. However, I currently go to a magnet program and my parents are a little bit more lenient because A's count as a 4.5 and B's count as a 3.5 in every single one of my classes. I've even brought home a C or two and have been told good job because the classes are so hard. However, lately their has been a lot of yelling because I've been having trouble keeping up in all my classes (have not gone to bed earlier than 3 am in a couple of nights) and a current F is freaking her out. However, I always get it up so I am working very hard but I am not too, too stressed.

[Shady]

I've never understood parents like that. Not everyone is capable of getting the top grades all the time. As long as you're working to the best of your ability, they shouldn't ask for much more. If the best of your ability is Cs then that's fine.

Saying that, I think sometimes my parents didn't quite push me enough. I understand my mum's logic, in that she believes that if you want something enough you have to work for it yourself, and want it enough to put the effort in...so she didn't really come down hard on me during A levels and uni. It's just that I'm not very good at self motivation

[kasooi]

Well I think it depends on the family and the kids present.

I grew up in a catholic family, I have a brother and a sister as well. I was probably the smartest out of us all so my parents never really questioned my grades. But my mother always went back to religion if we got a bad mark haha

But both my parents had been to university and they kind of knew high school grades mean absolutely nothing, an A student in high school can be an F in college/uni.
My sister was like a C to D student in high school and is now an Architecture major and works with massive multi-milliondollar projects in the city, much more than I could possibly accomplish with my chem degree lol

I don't wanna say high school is pointless because it isn't, but your grades in it hardly reflect what you will become