Handling "Problem Children"

[Mandoli]

Situation: My forum has been criticized a lot lately, mainly for consistent "bashing" of a certain version of a game show (mainly, Family Feud). A lot of the talk isn't coming from the forum, but a blog that's unaffiliated with it. The owner of the blog likes to think we hate the host of the show, but we're talking about the format, which is a lot different than what he thinks. He hasn't posted stuff in a while, but he lurked recently. Trying to find things to hate about us, of course.

So, with that being said, we've found newer members of the board who semi-migrated from the blog in question. This person's probably still a blog commenter, but like the blog owner, I've found that this person likes to hate us for hating everything about the modern-day Feud. Last Monday, our "problem child" decided to say the following (actual words, copied from the post he made:

Some of you are big time dummies. Better yet, do you really think GSN cares about what you think? If you can't get used to this, stop watching and stop complaining. Steve Harvey is here to stay. Now shut up and enjoy your Harvey Feud.

I'm not going to put a link up to the post, because that would look like an advertisement.

There are other people who I believe are "problem children", which is a shame, because I've seen a lot of feuds (not a pun) about random things. A lot of name calling has happened. I actually cringe when I see a notification bubble where it says Admin, because I know someone's reported another member for stupid stuff. Look, I'm not going to warn someone if they're really not starting an argument. I'll warn that other member for being an annoying grouch.

So how do you deal with these kinds of members? I've continuously asked people to use the Ignore Members feature in their profile, but nobody seems to listen to that. They'd rather keep everyone visible and start fights of their own. Warnings and bans don't seem to help, either.

[••GamingBoards.net••]

People have opinions that aren't going to always aline with yours, or your communities. Also, it's fine for adults to debate, sometimes it's best left to extinguish itself. If it goes overboard, you're the Moderator/Admin, aren't you?

I'm really not sure what kind of advice you're looking for here. Set some ground rules and stick with them.

[Kami]

As a preface, my way may not work for everyone. However, I have seen a very high rate of success for this across multiple forums I’ve run of varying genres, so make of that what you will.

The first thing is a cardinal rule for everyone on the forum: don’t air dirty laundry in public. For staff, this means that all disciplinary actions should be recorded privately in a staff-only board and communicated via PM; for members, this means that if you have a personal dispute on the forum, either take it to PM or instant messenger. This generally cuts down on negative interactions because a lot of times things are said in the context of a thread and many people don’t want to bother taking the extra steps to send a PM. Any publicly posted offending content is silently removed, if necessary​​​, and the individual posters get a PM from a staff member (which staff member varies by forum; on one it’s more beneficial to PM from a personal staff ranked account, on another I send the staff consensus on a neutral staff account that is meant to represent the team as a whole) stating that their behaviour is not acceptable for members of the community. If the issue is symptomatic of something larger, I send a mass PM from the aforementioned neutral staff account stating something like, “As a reminder to all members, xyz behaviour is not acceptable on this forum.” The only exception I have to this is if people behave in a bigoted manner. Posts are still removed and people are disciplined privately, but I will post a statement along the lines of (as an example): “We have a zero tolerance policy against racism here at [Forum Name]. This thread is now locked.”

Secondly, I have found it very helpful to have a publicly available reference for disciplinary guidelines. For myself, I use a ten step system where every three steps is a longer suspension from the forum, culminating in a permanent ban. I also emphasise that it’s a guideline and reserve the right to adjust decisions based on the severity (or frequency) of the issue. Because this guideline is publicly available, every member gets a rough idea of what can be expected so decisions don’t feel arbitrary. I also have found that having clearly stated guidelines winds up discouraging people from reacting impulsively, as they can see the consequences if they wind up moving through the steps.

Thirdly, don’t afraid to not engage members when they become belligerent. Of course, you want to be friendly with your members, but if you need to message them as a disciplinary action due to their behaviour, you need to put distance between yourself and them. Be direct and to the point as succinctly as possible. Don’t get emotional, don’t plead for good behaviour, just state the facts and the consequences. For example, in this situation I might write something like:

As a reminder, on this forum we treat everyone with respect. If you are unable or unwilling to do so, then we are no longer the community for you. Please let me know what you decide.

I may also include a quote or quotes of whatever they said that was not appropriate, so they know we have context for what was said, or a quote from our forum rules to show that their behaviour or action is disallowed. The important thing is that if they start arguing or pleading or excusing their behaviour, you stick to your guns and refuse to engage in debating the appropriateness of their actions, and if they refuse to accept your comments, then it’s time for them to go (banned and deleted).

Next, follow through forever. This part is the sucky part especially since you said that thusfar banning people hasn’t seemed to act as a deterrent. Unfortunately, this is just kit and kaboodle of running an online community. Banning is the highest level of user refusal anyone online has, and unfortunately the way the internet currently works there are ways around it. The only thing you can do is show consistency. Ban users who have gone through your disciplinary guideline without remorse or behaviour changes. Keep banning AND deleting them (without comment or acknowledgement of their return) as it happens. It sucks, it’s tedious, it’s disheartening, but unfortunately it’s what you gotta do sometimes.

Even on forums where I didn’t implement this until after they were established for a while, it took a bit but eventually the general population cottoned on and behaved themselves. They also wound up policing themselves and one another, saying things like “This is getting a bit heated, so I’m going to step away”, or “Let’s take this disagreement to PM so we can hash it out”.

Is it fool proof? No, absolutely not. Do I guarantee it to work? Also no. However, I think that at least something along these lines — handling problems privately as much as possible / disengaging from volatile members by not giving them room to argue your decisions or reprimand, following through unwaveringly — will go a long way into setting up the members’ expectations on how you and your team (if applicable) will react and most will behave themselves accordingly.

[Retread]

Sept 30, 2018 6:08:28 GMT -8 Mandoli said:

Situation: My forum has been criticized a lot lately, mainly for consistent "bashing" of a certain version of a game show (mainly, Family Feud). A lot of the talk isn't coming from the forum, but a blog that's unaffiliated with it. The owner of the blog likes to think we hate the host of the show, but we're talking about the format, which is a lot different than what he thinks. He hasn't posted stuff in a while, but he lurked recently. Trying to find things to hate about us, of course.

In a way that blogger is doing you a favor. They're causing others to view and participate in your forum. Of course you have to take the bad with the good. Some of the people who find your forum because of the blog won't be troublesome. Others will.

Sept 30, 2018 6:08:28 GMT -8 Mandoli said:

So how do you deal with these kinds of members? I've continuously asked people to use the Ignore Members feature in their profile, but nobody seems to listen to that. They'd rather keep everyone visible and start fights of their own. Warnings and bans don't seem to help, either.

The ignore function isn't particularly useful, in my opinion. Choosing to not respond makes far more sense.

I would like to see an Opt-out mechanism being employed on certain boards of some forums, though. That way one isn't bothered by any posts on boards that are primarily just an echo chamber for one-sided politics or are hotbeds partisan bickering. That clutter doesn't need to appear for those who have no interest and they can focus on other boards in the forum in which they do have interest. Setting up a group that's excluded from view and access to a board, then setting the group as Open does the job.

As far as dealing with the problem children, that seems to be necessary on a case-by-case basis. The staff can easily just move the offensive posts or threads to a board which isn't visible to the public. Rather than engage and cause a scene, quietly removing the content which isn't suitable gets rid of the garbage without giving the troublemakers the attention they crave.

Forums are necessarily dynamic so if you're looking for a mechanism which doesn't require staff intervention, you probably won't find it. But if you think of a forum the same way you think of a lawn, nurturing the grass tends to crowd out the weeds.

[?adwoman?]

I think you need a super key for this but look into this tool for these members

support.proboards.com/thread/471626/post-quarantine-library-support and the companion plugin

remember at this moment the plugin does not work in mobile until v6

[Mandoli]

Sept 30, 2018 6:53:38 GMT -8 ••GamingBoards.net•• said:

I'm really not sure what kind of advice you're looking for here.

I'm looking for two things: To see how others deal with this kind of issue (I figure it could be good conversation, really); and to see new methods myself, so I could try to incorporate them into my forum. I'm not saying it's just me asking for help.

Other posts in this thread that I want to talk about:

Kami has a good point about showing the warning system, so that it's visible to all members. I do have it in the rules (it's outlined clearly there), but I've found that people on my board are sort of lazy and don't read them. I'm probably going to make a new thread in that section, and force people to read it before they can post. Is there a plugin for that kind of thing, especially for already-active members? I would love to add it.

?adwoman? talks about a plugin for quarantined posts. I've done that before, with negative reactions. People thought that all posts were spam. Because of that, I decided to remove it from the board.