ProBoards Mafia Game 4 (POST-GAME)

[Phaelyn]

January 31^st, 2011__.

LONE GUNMAN BRINGS JUSTICE TO THE VILLAGE; LYNCHING GOES WELL, FOR ONCE

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Today seems to have been quite the eventful day for ProBoardia. While Syko Nachoman is still recovering in his home from his 'wild night on the town', as he calls it, another villager Dove was attacked by a random gunman! While she was out on her morning walk, she began following a trail of Reese's Pieces that started somewhere near Ren's Sandwich Shop. Each time she picked up a piece, she exclaimed "Ooh! A piece of candy!". After following the trail of peanutbuttery goodness for nearly an hour, a bang was heard; she was dead before she hit the ground. The gunman ran away before he or she could be identified; they left behind nothing but a single rifle shell on a roof. A downtrodden 'angry' mob went to investigate her house; their spirits lifted when they discovered that she was a mafia member!

In other news, the town successfully lynched ProBoardia's 'Sleepiest Villager', iCraft. The best woodworkers of the village, Thomas K and Pepper, worked together to cut down a mighty apple tree on the outskirts of town. They set to carving it into a beautiful canoe while other villagers burned things like "Die!", "Mafia scum!", and "You were pretty cool, but you probably killed my best friend!" into the finished portions. When the carving and burning was finally over, the village strapped iCraft into the bottom of the canoe, capsized it, and sent it on its way down the river. Further investigation of iCraft's hut showed that he was another mafia member -- and not only that, the double-agent! Three down, two to go, ProBoardia!

Today's featured villager is Aether. Aether is one of the most well-read members of our village -- he even has a cool AE symbol in his name! He watches and listens rather than blabbing and changing his vote every five minutes; he also enjoys candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach. Yes, Aether sure is a great guy -- be sure to buy one of his Aether Action Figures from his weird guy with a trenchcoat on a streetcorner mobile shop!

Snooki and several other members of the odd television show "Jersey Shore" were arrested today; they were found terrorising Syko Nachoman from outside his home at around 11am. "But we need to know the secret to his perfect orange tan!", they yelled while pouring vodka down an officer's shirt. They are to be jailed for an indefinite length of time.

Andrea was found selling genetically modified venus fly traps out of the back of her horse-drawn carriage. Instead of eating flies and other bugs, these plants prefer to snack on fingers and small animals stupid enough to get close to them. Andrea's left over plants were seized; she was forced to pay a $200 fine for each missing digit reported by police officers. If you bought one of these venus finger-traps, please bring it to police!

[Phaelyn]

Oh well. I'll edit in iCraft's death in a minute and make it the evening paper. Good show, village, good show. xD

[Ace Trainer Dom]

I like the sound of that

And I lol'd at the Reese's Pieces trail

[Phaelyn]

That's all, nighttime now. Special roles, if you don't PM me within 36 hours i WILL cut you up so bad, you're gonna wish I didn't cut you up so bad.

[Ryan Roos]

Rooschach's Journal
Night 2 of new life

When will this town learn
it needs to trust me. They
all scream for my help and
then they all question my
motives.

Dove was shot, didn't see
that coming. Narrowed
down my list. One less mafia.
iCraft turned out to be
a good lead. Knowing that he
is mafia may have revealed
another on my list.

Tomorrow I'll deal with
the dentists dilemma. Someone
will die, I'll see to it.

I've spent what feels like
days compiling the data,
reviewing my notes, narrowing
it down. I have a very short list
now. The mafia is coming
to an end. I will make my list
known tomorrow if the town
is smart enough to follow me
in my hunt for the fake dentist.

None of the mafia seem to
understand, I'm not trapped
in this town with them, they're
trapped here with me!

I grow tired. Time to sleep.

[Andrea]

This game could be ending quickly. ;D

*sleeps, relatively disgruntled after losing $200... has reoccurring nightmares about plants*

[Adam]

Amazing posts Ryan, I love the role-playing. Keep them coming!

[Ace Trainer Dom]

WE GOT THREE IN ONE DAY!!! YAY!!! ;D ;D


*Goes home and watches The Colbert Report. In it, Stephen Colbert commented on how Proboardia's crazy mob finally got something right, and suggested improvements to boost the ratings even more:

"Now if you are like me, you know that the small village of Proboardia has had some problems lately, and they need a quick fix. The Mafia has been running rampant throughout the village, but the angry mob there has finally killed one. Wow, they got one! But, the old "Witch" trials are not working as well as they could be, and I'm here to help. This is Stephen's Sound Advice.

So, Proboardia, Let me give you some words of wisdom. First, your death methods. Needless to say they are crude at best, but that's not the big problem. No, the problem is that there is no Entertainment with your lynchings, Proboardia! It's just like the Super Bowl, who actually watches it for the football? I for one, watch it to see if there will be a repeat of 2004's Wardrobe Malfunction in the next half time show. It's been 6 years, NFL! Time to give the viewers what they want! Think about it Proboardia! Next time you want to lynch someone, get Janet Jackson to come do the half-lynch show, at least the next person lynched will be entertained and write a good review in Hell's "Better Know a Death Method" segment in Larry King Dead.

But perhaps you need more examples of tried and true entertainment methods, because after all, how will you afford that million dollar lawsuit that is sure to follow a Super Bowl style entertainment show like that? So for those villages that have less money, I suggest the Salem Witch Trial route. Instead of hiring expensive musical entertainment, why not just find a local preacher? Your preacher can scream obscenities about Mafia and Satan, then we can all gather around the burning mafia stick and pray that we don't get murdered in the night. Or there's always the Boy Scout way of doing things: Give everyone who successfully completes a lynching their "Lynched a Mafia Member" patch, that way people have an incentive to getting these lynchings right! Because after all, you will never become an Eagle scout without that patch!

Of course, these suggestions will make your lynchings work, but in order to make them legendary, you should follow the best advice I have for you, explore the Worst Ways to Die, and then carry those out. Because after all, wouldn't the crowd love drugging the next lynch victim, then hitting him or her with a car and parking it in the garage, allowing the victim several hours to bleed out and die. Sure, you may get 50 to life, but if they are mafia? You see what I mean folks? This is GOLD here!

*Finishes watching and goes to sleep*

[Tk]

Great post Dom!
I must admit I didn't think icraft was a mafia member, I did have slight suspicions of Dove though at the start.
I probably won't be very active this week, as I am on placement in hospital.
TBH I thought the game would be over by now :/ Lol! The eternal optimist!

[Tk]

If DLG is gonna help the mafia then I don't feel bad lynching him even if he is the dentist

[The Dancing Lock Guy]

Jan 31, 2011 12:34:03 GMT -8 Tk said:

If DLG is gonna help the mafia then I don't feel bad lynching him even if he is the dentist

Man I love trolling people, even if it ends up getting me lynched. Today I don't feel too much like it. The dentist isn't an important role so I can do what I feel with it. I have no obligations to any party to protect someone. Just harm another's chances of winning, no matter who they are.

[Adam]

Great post Dom! I wish more people role-played and made the days more interesting to read.

Jan 31, 2011 13:09:52 GMT -8 The Dancing Lock Guy said:

Jan 31, 2011 12:34:03 GMT -8 Tk said:

If DLG is gonna help the mafia then I don't feel bad lynching him even if he is the dentist

Man I love trolling people, even if it ends up getting me lynched. Today I don't feel too much like it. The dentist isn't an important role so I can do what I feel with it. I have no obligations to any party to protect someone. Just harm another's chances of winning, no matter who they are.

Aaaaaaaand that explains the 10% warning level.

[The Dancing Lock Guy]

Jan 31, 2011 13:11:41 GMT -8 Adam said:

Great post Dom! I wish more people role-played and made the days more interesting to read.

Jan 31, 2011 13:09:52 GMT -8 The Dancing Lock Guy said:

Man I love trolling people, even if it ends up getting me lynched. Today I don't feel too much like it. The dentist isn't an important role so I can do what I feel with it. I have no obligations to any party to protect someone. Just harm another's chances of winning, no matter who they are.

Aaaaaaaand that explains the 10% warning level.

Haha no it doesn't. I see nothing about what I said in the quote that could possibly get me in trouble except if some butthurt admin decided he'd get his revenge by giving me a warning. The trolling I was talking about was within context and the rules of the game. The fact that I outlined the uselessness of the role I was assigned is merit to say "I can troll" but it's not trolling that can give me a warning. No one knows who anyone is except for the mafia in the early stages of the game. I used that opportunity to screw around with every single one of you people without drawing suspicion until Syko messaged me asking for my role. And it's against board rules to talk about personal warning levels on threads isn't it? I see what you did there. Nice try. Nice try.

[Phaelyn]

Jan 31, 2011 13:19:37 GMT -8 The Dancing Lock Guy said:

Jan 31, 2011 13:11:41 GMT -8 Adam said:

Great post Dom! I wish more people role-played and made the days more interesting to read.



Aaaaaaaand that explains the 10% warning level.

Haha no it doesn't. I see nothing about what I said in the quote that could possibly get me in trouble except if some butthurt admin decided he'd get his revenge by giving me a warning. The trolling I was talking about was within context and the rules of the game. The fact that I outlined the uselessness of the role I was assigned is merit to say "I can troll" but it's not trolling that can give me a warning. No one knows who anyone is except for the mafia in the early stages of the game. I used that opportunity to screw around with every single one of you people without drawing suspicion until Syko messaged me asking for my role. And it's against board rules to talk about personal warning levels on threads isn't it? I see what you did there. Nice try. Nice try.

calling admins butthurt: always the surest way to lower your warning level

also, useless role? if any of you you hate your that much, you either (a) wouldn't use it or (b) would have quit as soon as you were assigned it.

i'm neither confirming nor denying that he's the dentist. the above goes for all of you, especially those of you who complained about your role to me. if you don't like it, no one's forcing you to play.

[Ren Rudner]

Jan 31, 2011 13:19:37 GMT -8 The Dancing Lock Guy said:

Jan 31, 2011 13:11:41 GMT -8 Adam said:

Great post Dom! I wish more people role-played and made the days more interesting to read.



Aaaaaaaand that explains the 10% warning level.

Haha no it doesn't. I see nothing about what I said in the quote that could possibly get me in trouble except if some butthurt admin decided he'd get his revenge by giving me a warning. The trolling I was talking about was within context and the rules of the game. The fact that I outlined the uselessness of the role I was assigned is merit to say "I can troll" but it's not trolling that can give me a warning. No one knows who anyone is except for the mafia in the early stages of the game. I used that opportunity to screw around with every single one of you people without drawing suspicion until Syko messaged me asking for my role. And it's against board rules to talk about personal warning levels on threads isn't it? I see what you did there. Nice try. Nice try.

Ahahahahah way to go.