One sorta quick question

[alexmontrose]

Let's see if I can explain this very difficult to explain situation....so we're on the same page.

I (might be) interested in connecting up with several people on the ProBoards forum in the near future. And they with me. Depends on how things shake out on another major forum.

Problem is, here on PB....the person who started his own forum is the one where a few of these same people will probably join up. Out of convenience more than anything else. Because the forum has already been set up, etc.

I myself...am NOT interested in being part of this persons forum. Soap Opera :0)..I'll spare you guys the details.

A person or two I'm interested in hooking up with has joined this persons forum for now, the one I'm *not* interested in being part of.

So what I'm trying to figure out is....if I come on this person forum, the one I don't want to be a part of BUT only participate in a thread or threads that others (who I DO want to communicate with) have started.....I'll still be technically a part of this persons' forum. And I don't want that. So the only answer is either:

1. Start my own forum ? Or...

2. Others I want to communicate with will need to start their own, separate forums ?

In other words there's no way I can answer threads on the persons forum I don't want to be a part of.....and be invisible to that person? Where he can't see what I say, moderate what I say.....etc, etc ?

If I join his forum...even if I only communicate with people in threads he's not a part of...he can still see and moderate all my posts, etc, etc. Right?

Appreciate the help once you sort through the melodrama

[Tanya]

I've never known someone to join a forum when the admin is someone they don't want anything to do with and that is part of what you were saying above so...and that should answer that last question of yours. Admins see pretty much anything on the boards themselves. Your profile is private and so are PM's unless I missed something somewhere which I hope not lol

I have a question for you... Do you have contact with those you want to talk to outside of that forum? (I couldn't figure that out from all you wrote lol, sorry) If you are in contact with them, why not ask what they all want and find the best compromise.

[Kami]

Well the crux of it is no, you cannot be invisible to the admin of a forum. They can see you and your posts and activity and there's really no way to prevent that. Honestly? I do not know why you'd even contemplate it if you are that at odds with this person, even if you could stay hidden from them.

The choices that make more sense to me are to start your own community and restrict registration so you can make sure he doesn't join it, or to join someone else's community.

[alexmontrose]

Thanks Tanya. Yeah......you pretty much confirmed what I thought. The reason I tried to explain it in such detail is because I'm cool with everyone other than the guy who started the forum. But these people will be posting in that forum.

I just thought maybe if I posted with only them...I could avoid the forum originator. In other words, if you're part of a huge forum and you post in threads that a person you don't want to deal with never participates in..you can basically avoid that person. But here..in this case...people I do want to talk to are (unfortunately) joining this person forum. It's only a couple people right now..and probably won't be more than a handful in the future..

The one of two who have joined.... I don't have access to them outside the forums..but I could get it. Yeah..I could tell them to start their own..but as I said, right now it's just convenient for them to join a forum already there.

[alexmontrose]

Thanks too Kami. Yeah I just wasn't sure of all the technicals...but pretty much knew I would be seen and moderated by this person if I joined. It's..like I said....not like being part of a huge music site where people who want to avoid each other do. Here....this person started the forum...but a few people I WANT to talk to...might end up being part of it. So it's weird situation. I'd have to or they would have to start a forum if we all want to stay in touch.

[Kami]

I still don't see why this is a conundrum. If you only want to talk with a handful of people, you can exchange private contact info or use a group chat like discord. Or if you like the forum environment y'all can start your own forum.

Like I said. I don't particularly think this is something that is much of a head scratcher; if you're that at odds with someone that you don't even want them to see your activity on a forum they own then it's a no brainer to not join regardless of other potential contacts.

I think you're just making it harder on yourself because you want to have your cake and eat it too. You don't want to deal with the admin but you also want to stay with your friends. You want both when that is really not an option. The only choice here is, are your friends enough of a motivation to deal with the admin or not? Whatever your answer to that is, is the answer to this.

[Tanya]

Only weird if you let it be. There are many ways to keep in touch with people but what I see is you want to interact with them in much the same way we all do on forums. Plenty of forums out there and most of us who come on here do have our own. Not hard to find one all of you can talk away from the person you are avoiding. You can be part of more than one forum and none of you have to create one of your own to do it. I can understand not wanting the hassle that comes with having your own forum and still wanting a place to be able to spend time with friends. Take a deep breath and really think about what you want and if those friends are willing to divide their time between more than one forum, find one you all can enjoy.
Don't overthink things.

[alexmontrose]

Kami ..with all due respect I've spared you a lot of details so don't assume a bunch of stuff. When you say it's a "no brainer" not join a forum where you want to avoid the person who started it... that's true. IF you're dealing with this place, Pro boards. All other forums are *not* run by one person.....so this is very different. That's why I wanted to be sure...
Now I know 100%.

I'll have to tell those people...if you want to talk on *this forum* then you'll have to start your own forum (and of course I can start one myself)

[Kami]

And with all due respect I am not assuming anything. You asked for opinions and for me, regardless of circumstance, if I do not like the admin of a particular forum then I would not subject myself to a) being obligated to follow their rules or b) being in their presence. B also applies to other people's forums.

See, to me, the details are irrelevant. I value my time and my mental health. Putting myself in a position where I will have to monitor my movements and be hyper vigilant that the person in question and I don't butt heads is not a valuable use of my time, and I genuinely don't understand why it's even a point of consideration.

Ultimately it boils down to whether or not you are willing to subject yourself to this person's presence, whether or not the benefits (in this case friends) is worth that to you. If the answer is yes, then go for it. If the answer is no, then don't. I do think you're overthinking it because you feel you have multiple options and want to weigh the pros and cons of doing x or y or z. In my opinion, I think that is an extraneous line of thinking because it boils down to whether or not you can tolerate this person enough.

[alexmontrose]

No, the details are everything Kami. To me. I gave the info that I wanted to give.. and from there you said things like...I don't see the conundrum, it's a no brainer, and if you don't want to talk to the guy then don't.... blah blah blah.

I went into detail because I needed to make sure how it works over here. Wasn't sure how it worked ..OVER HERE. Kapiche? That's why I explained with nuances and details. Your answers are very black and white..just do A, B..or C. But that's coming from someone who is used to things OVER HERE. And not considering the way things are on almost all other forums. You know, most situations have some gray in them. Unless we're dealing with machines. And I don't think you're a machine...

I thought there might be a chance to be part of a forum....and not deal with one person. I was 99% sure that wasn't the case..so I asked. Thanks for your help. Even though your replies were black and white..they got the job done.

Of course there's always going in under a different name
Thanks to you and Tanya.

[Kami]

I guess I just didn't understand the question. Was this really a software question and not a management question (as in were you asking how PB software operates and if it were capable of a specific task)?

If so, then that is where my misunderstanding (as in, my thinking that you were after opinions regarding what you ought to do on a personal level) lies as technical questions belong in the support board, rather than the manage your forum board.

And for the record, no I am not a machine but yes this sort of situation is black and white to me. My free time is valuable and if I had to choose whether or not to spend it in the presence of a person I disliked, I would choose not to, end of story. Perhaps that seems machine like to you but I have better things to do than try to walk on eggshells and I can always hang out with my online friends somewhere else. I genuinely do not comprehend why someone would choose to be around a person they disliked. Maybe I am a machine on second thought. Beep bop bzzt!

Edit: On that note you can block someone here but that doesn't stop them from seeing your posts, it stops you from seeing theirs.

[alexmontrose]

I wouldn't call it "technical" Kami. More asking some experienced users how a couple basics work on this Board. I knew it was "different" because it's not one big forum...it's a site that lets everyone run their own individual forums. So maybe that's why my questioning threw you a little. The way you understood it...yeah...just don't talk to the person. LOL...yeah....but that wasn't what I was asking. I wanted to talk to *others* in that forum...and found out there's no way for that to happen and avoid him.

So yeah...agree....don't want to spend time over here with someone I dislike. So if some of us do end up here...hopefully one of us starts a new Forum.

[Kami]

Jun 16, 2017 20:45:08 GMT -8 alexmontrose said:

I wouldn't call it "technical" Kami. More asking some experienced users how a couple basics work on this Board. I knew it was "different" because it's not one big forum...it's a site that lets everyone run their own individual forums. So maybe that's why my questioning threw you a little. The way you understood it...yeah...just don't talk to the person. LOL...yeah....but that wasn't what I was asking. I wanted to talk to *others* in that forum...and found out there's no way for that to happen and avoid him.

So yeah...agree....don't want to spend time over here with someone I dislike. So if some of us do end up here...hopefully one of us starts a new Forum.

Ah yeah fair enough, sorry for the misunderstanding!

Though I think you may have confused what this site is a little. This forum specifically is PB's Support forum. Every forum is hosted by ProBoards, but they are individual forums using the same service. It's not quite one site letting people do their own thing if that makes sense? So, while you may have been asking our personal experience, it's not like... going to be different because the limitations are set by the forum software, which is why this is (despite your intentions) more of a technical question since we cannot change how the software works in this regard, at least user-end.

THAT SAID! Theoretically, a forum administrator may be able to use a plugin (though that depends entirely on the nature of the plugin) to do what you're requesting -- however, this would not be something a regular user would be able to implement.

So, if you do want to use ProBoards, then I recommend you personally set up the forum yourself so that you can control the coding to allow for this to happen. There has already been a request for a plugin to make two-way forced blocking which sounds like what you're going for (to not see that person's content, and for them not to see yours).

[alexmontrose]

Yeah, all good Kami. Interesting....about the plug in's

I'm "working" on people in this other forum..just in case we come over here. But I understood what this was..a support forum. Seen this type of thing many times before..a forum where the users come and talk about any issues on the site.

[mmhmm]

Jun 17, 2017 7:27:20 GMT -8 alexmontrose said:

Yeah, all good Kami. Interesting....about the plug in's

I'm "working" on people in this other forum..just in case we come over here. But I understood what this was..a support forum. Seen this type of thing many times before..a forum where the users come and talk about any issues on the site.

Your understanding of this site is now correct. What you might do is to use a site like Discord (as Kami suggested) to "rally the troops", so to speak, and find out how many might be interested in participating in a ProBoards-hosted forum. If you've got enough interest, it might well be worth it to start your own forum here on ProBoards. I guess you could also find out by using the contact information for those whose interaction you seek to ask them via email (or whatever) if they might like to participate in such a forum.

You could join the forum on which those others are now posting under a different name but ... well, that's not exactly honest. It can also cause problems down the road if someone catches on and resents your coming to that forum for the explicit purpose of pulling members to another forum. Just not Kosher, if you get my drift.