If you suspected family/friend of illegal activity

[Beck]

It must be a terrible dilemma for a parent - if you suspect your child is involved in something illegal, do you tell police?

This article made me think.

This article deals with a parent informing police of their sons drug dealing when they became suspicious. What would you do if someone close to you, a friend or family, were suspected by you of being involved in illegal activity?

[Robyn]

It depends. If it's family I'd tell my parents or if it's a parent I'd tell the other one. If it's a friend I might mention it to their parent. But i'd let them deal with the police.

[brokenmalice]

See, the problem I have here is the inclusion of the word "suspicious." You can't just run off and call the police if you suspect someone of doing something, and you'd be wasting the cops' time if you did so and it turned out to be nothing. If it was me, I'd find some proof before calling the cops.

[Beck]

Would you go looking for that proof though or leave it be, not wanting to know? In the article the parents found $10,000 and some drugs, I'd class that as highly suspicious. I do agree though that it depends how suspicious you were, and what you were suspecting.

[sneer]

Definitely not. If you can't trust your family not to snitch, who can you trust?

[Syko Nachoman]

If it's someone I trust, I'd definitely talk to them about the problem first before doing anything drastic.

I avoid the "It depends what the activity you suspected was" option because, even though that seems like the obvious 'correct' answer, it feels like a cheat

[Dumezil]

Like others have said, I'd definitely have to have proof. In the college I want to go to our creed requires us to permit no illegal activity or lying. And unlike most schools, the one I want to go to will actually kick you out if they find out you knew something about your room mate and did not fess up.
I suppose it also depends how bad it is. I bet most people on here have a close friend who has tried pot or done underage stuff. Best most of them didn't fess up either.

If I really had to, I'd find a way to get them to fess up by themself. Either that or force them to go get help to make them stop. Easier said than done but I'd find a way.

[Phaelyn]

I would confront them about it before I do anything. I've done it before and I'd do it again I think going straight to the police would be seen as betrayal (by the family member, that is)...if they know you care enough, they might stop. If they don't, however, I would go to the police. I wouldn't cut all ties, though...then i would feel it was betrayal.

[ukschalke]

it would depend on what they are doing but in general i keep my mouth shut and let them get on with it if its something minor like smoking weed or selling cheap baccy or whatever because i dont believe in grassing people up but i would have a quiet word with them if required

[brokenmalice]

Oct 4, 2010 16:30:56 GMT -8 Beck said:

Would you go looking for that proof though or leave it be, not wanting to know? In the article the parents found $10,000 and some drugs, I'd class that as highly suspicious. I do agree though that it depends how suspicious you were, and what you were suspecting.

I also noted that the article said they found "what they thought to be drugs." Yes, their son was dealing drugs, but suspicion makes people jump to conclusions.

Take, for example, parents who think their child is smoking marijuana. One day, they find something in his room that looks like weed, so they call the cops; however, the cops find out that it was just oregano (don't ask me why the kid has it; I'm just using this example for argument's sake). What then?

I suppose parents have the right to go through their child's things if they suspect something like drugs, as privacy for kids is a privilege, not a right, but you can be damn sure that I wouldn't go snooping through my friends' stuff, even if I think they're committing illegal activities.

[Hero]

I would hunt them down and destroy them.

[Beck]

I also noted that the article said they found "what they thought to be drugs." Yes, their son was dealing drugs, but suspicion makes people jump to conclusions.

Take, for example, parents who think their child is smoking marijuana. One day, they find something in his room that looks like weed, so they call the cops; however, the cops find out that it was just oregano (don't ask me why the kid has it; I'm just using this example for argument's sake). What then?

I suppose parents have the right to go through their child's things if they suspect something like drugs, as privacy for kids is a privilege, not a right, but you can be damn sure that I wouldn't go snooping through my friends' stuff, even if I think they're committing illegal activities.

And the $10,000 they found?

I am in no way defending the parents going through their sons belongings, I wouldn't do that to my kids and I do believe everyone is entitled to their privacy and that includes kids - though to a lesser degree if they are living in their parents house. But I think finding $10,000 of unexplainable cash in their kids house is reason for suspicion especially since there are always far more details than a newspaper article gives. It isn't on quite the same level as a bit of weed.

For myself personally I doubt I could ever call the police on my children or any other family member unless they had done something that made them a danger to themselves or to others. And I'd have to be pretty darn sure of it.

[Division by Zero]

Whenever there's an opportunity to avoid interacting with law enforcement agents I seize that opportunity by the throat. There's no reason to get involved with anything that doesn't directly concern yourself. Even if it is something that concerns myself, I prefer to go vigilante.

[Artemis]

Innocent until proven guilty. I wouldn't go out of my way to 'prove' it or look for evidence unless I felt very strongly on the matter, since part of being a friend is trusting another person.

It also depends on what the situation was. If it was something 'minor' I'd probably talk to them myself first. I wouldn't just call the police immediately if it were something I thought I could help my friend with first; I'd rather them attempt to go clean before getting in trouble if possible. Of course, if it's something major that requires law enforcement's involvement, there's a chance I'd need to re-evaluate that entire relationship. But again, it depends.

[Bob]

I was brought up believing that under no circumstances do you throw friends or family under the bus. Chances are if it's serious enough they're going to get what's coming to them anyways. But as far as I'm concerned it's a sleazy move to hand your friends over to the authorities.