How to? Communication: Me & You

[~BUNNY~]

*Hellu my friends, my friends hellu! ^_^*

Bunny here! This bunny loves to write-write-write-write fiction! That is no secret about myself, but one thing that this bunny tends to stray from and do not let people know about on forums is my ability as a Mental Health Professional (Professional and not Specialist mind you)! This bunny is very enthusiastic with using my ability to help others communicate on forums (when not busy battling my own anxiety that is X_x).  As a result, many times, this bunny has taught others how to use coping techniques (like my own to lessen anxiety referring to myself as bunny), how to effectively communicate to mitigate hostility, as well as rendered some resources to others who may be in need of Mental Health Services in their area while promising the utmost confidentiality (as my ethics requires).

Now as for the questions on this bunny's mind
-As an admin/moderator: How do you address Mental Health Issues on forums?
-How do you help/address members communicating on forums?
-How do you help members with resources?

As this bunny is a Mental Health Professional and by statistics of certain research conducted with myself and colleagues, it is prominent that communities that revolve around fandoms (usually which are in Role-play forums) are prominent with these issues. So, this bunny would honestly like to know how these issues are addressed and even help communicate some techniques/Q&A on topics of how to increase your effectiveness or simply to read some history on your experience with dealing with these things. There is no judgment seeing as, honestly, a LOT of people struggle with effective communication.

So, what say you? This bunny is all ears: how can this bunny help you?

Note: Don't be afraid! This bunny does not bite!
Second Note: This topic is not to be used to open up to therapy via PMs, in this topic, or ever! This is to discuss and advise in Communication Skills in regards to managing forums and discuss issues of how staff address these mental health concerns that are spoken aloud on forums.

[wildmaven]

It's a difficult problem. While everyone wishes to help someone in need, very few are trained in the proper techniques, plus there are legal issues that need to be considered as well, so posts about individual issues are usually addressed by pointing the individual to proper help, while acknowledging that their situation is not taken lightly or being dismissed.

It is admirable that you want to help others here, but aside from generalized information about depression, etc., posts offering individual counseling/help is not appropriate on the ProBoards Support forum.

That aside, I've found RPing to be the salvation for depression, as it's an escape from the darkness for a while. The worst places I've found are actually medical support forums (thyroid disease, prostate cancer, etc.) because it can make the person even more anxious/depressed about their condition when they see others posting about the end stages and worst case scenarios. You'd think those forums would be uplifting, but I've found them to be the complete opposite.

[~BUNNY~]

Jul 28, 2020 8:04:12 GMT -8 wildmaven said:

It's a difficult problem. While everyone wishes to help someone in need, very few are trained in the proper techniques, plus there are legal issues that need to be considered as well, so posts about individual issues are usually addressed by pointing the individual to proper help, while acknowledging that their situation is not taken lightly or being dismissed.

It is admirable that you want to help others here, but aside from generalized information about depression, etc., posts offering individual counseling/help is not appropriate on the ProBoards Support forum.

That aside, I've found RPing to be the salvation for depression, as it's an escape from the darkness for a while. The worst places I've found are actually medical support forums (thyroid disease, prostate cancer, etc.) because it can make the person even more anxious/depressed about their condition when they see others posting about the end stages and worst case scenarios. You'd think those forums would be uplifting, but I've found them to be the complete opposite. 

Color coded for better organization. This bunny's head tries not to mix up the contexts.

That is true. It is a constant problem that this bunny sees on forums and in real life, so it is a concern of his considering that people handle these things improperly by either trying to be a therapist thinking that "good with talking to people is enough" or stresses themselves worrying. This is not recommended at all. @_@

Right. It is actually illegal unless proper procedures are handled. But that is not what is being offered. 0_0

The offer is "Communication Skills." That being this bunny is asking, "How do people communicate" and when Mental Health does come up "How do you respond?" This bunny believes it is a serious problems because there are forums where it has come up in conversations and context, especially when someone mentions a diagnosis and does not know the seriousness behind that stigmatization and how people respond to it.

This bunny communicated poorly by talking about experience, and he is sorry for that. The purpose is to talk about situations (especially using text) in how to alleviate a situation and how to communicate someone you want to understand, instead of further labeling the or trying to play as a therapist.

Examples: "I feel like I understand" compared to "I believe I understand and i feel sad that you experience this" are more alleviating to someone who wants to communicate on a forum due to the context (because the words "feel like" are actually a barrier). To which, I believe that it is healthy to talk about how we communicate rather than trying to play the role of a counselor/therapist (which is not necessary at all to deal with these situations).

Basically, it is a conversation about how certain things are lost in context when talking to people (atypical in mental health or not).

This bunny can see how Roleplaying can be alleviating. Like any other hobby, it can be alleviating for someone to have an outlet. Even myself, writing and writing improves my thinking and relieves me during the day when I have stress from listening to others or giving talks at cons about Communication and people (which is always fun).

But as far as reading about medical support forums, this bunny can see how those can be debilitating to anyone who reads them. In my undergrad year, the staff team felt a light depression due to us reading blogs about infertility and the misery of women and men who could not conceive and had to have alternate methods. We coded those blogs from about fifteen or twenty per week with us meeting to talk about what we read. Some of us had to "detoxify" (talk to the professional in charge of the coding project to make sure we were not feeling the signs of depression that came from being exposed to consistent misery). It turns out, people who are in the health field in general experiences this, so it is the reason why I believe it is dangerous for any forum or individuals in forums who think that having a platform revolving around these subjects (which is probably the phenomenon you are describing if that makes sense).

Note: Also, going to make a note/disclaimer that bunny will not be offering Counseling/Therapy in his PMs or in this thread and this is to emphasize Communication Skills as Staff of forums. Thanks for bringing this to his attention.

[wildmaven]

Sorry, but with all due respect, I'm not really wanting to get into a serious conversation with someone who refers to self as "this/that/the bunny." You do you, but it's too distracting for me in a serious conversation.

[dragonfli]

I dont think I could take serious mental health advice from the easter bunny. I'd call a doctor.

[bigballofyarn]

I don't take advice from self-proclaimed health professionals on message boards. However, if I have a more general question, I don't hesitate from asking people I trust for support. I think this is something more people should follow. Whether or not someone attempting to offer me help online is being truthful about their credentials and qualifications does not give them full ability to help me in a life or death situation.


I do have a board on my forum for mental and physical health. However, it is highly stressed that no one on my forum is a doctor. They are offered a safe space to discuss their issues with their peers, but are encouraged to contact a professional should they be in a harmful situation. I don't do anything to nudge communication because people seem to open up about things on their own. Pressuring someone to talk/type doesn't help relieve them of their problem. Sometimes, all they want to do is vent without any feedback. For that, members are allowed to have their own blog threads. If a member asks for resources, the advice we offer depends upon the type of problem they are experiencing.

[User 180565 is taking donation]

As the internet is meant for information the best advice you can give users is sending them a private message asking where they're from then suggesting local facilities that will help them. If you post that you're having an issue under an alias it really doesnt matter as local police have ways of tracing information from IPs. This is why it's never a good idea to get too personal online such as discussion with illegal activity such as drugs crimes etc...

The best you can do is offer friendship and if said user is really struggling and they post personal information make it private asap unless they wish to disclose information with you even then I can't stress enough it's never a good idea to give out personal information to the public.

You may see it on Facebook but it's never a good idea to disclose personal details. Like I said the best thing you can do with a community is build friendships and if it's a diersituation don't hesitate to report it or send it to the local authorities.

As someone who struggles with mental health doctors have PhDs for a reason for these situations.

[~BUNNY~]

Sorry, but with all due respect, I'm not really wanting to get into a serious conversation with someone who refers to self as "this/that/the bunny." You do you, but it's too distracting for me in a serious conversation.

M’kay! That is fair. Bunny respects your values and expectations. ^_^

I don't take advice from self-proclaimed health professionals on message boards. However, if I have a more general question, I don't hesitate from asking people I trust for support. I think this is something more people should follow. Whether or not someone attempting to offer me help online is being truthful about their credentials and qualifications does not give them full ability to help me in a life or death situation.


I do have a board on my forum for mental and physical health. However, it is highly stressed that no one on my forum is a doctor. They are offered a safe space to discuss their issues with their peers, but are encouraged to contact a professional should they be in a harmful situation. I don't do anything to nudge communication because people seem to open up about things on their own. Pressuring someone to talk/type doesn't help relieve them of their problem. Sometimes, all they want to do is vent without any feedback. For that, members are allowed to have their own blog threads. If a member asks for resources, the advice we offer depends upon the type of problem they are experiencing.

Tis’ fine! Totally understandable. Due to my mannerism in real life and when speaking at conventions, no one actually believes my credentials either until they have to be authentically shown. =3

That board is an actually valid idea and this bunny means it! Mostly due to me admiring how you have the disclaimer that no one is a doctor and the structure is similar to that of a group therapy setting (which doesn’t require credentials and simply is to support one another). That is why this bunny prefers that people use that method when using boards. Plus, the privacy of disclosing things through PM and helping locate resources is a plus! Love it! <3

By experience, the pressure angle is something this bunny has seen on forums and cannot say this one is a fan of it. If anything, it is actually forbidden to keep “talking-talking-talking” since the dynamic is listening when it comes to communication. So the venting without feedback is an absolute love! Would totally support it and see that forum in action seeing as you seem to have great organization and a grasp on how to support others. Cannot add anything to the dynamic other than perhaps Reflection and Paraphrasing when understanding those problems and listening without feedback? They are great tools that allow someone, even if they do not suffer mental health issues, to have a feeling of belonging and that they are being heard.

Oh! Also, if they have a history of being in a harmful situation, perhaps teaching them about referrals is good (More below)?

Not brave on the advice part though. We are actually taught to stay away from that part. That is the difference between actual Mental Health Therapy and being a Life Coach/Support: The thin layer between Guidance and Advice. So as long as your forum does not reach across that threshold, you should be okay doing what you do to support others. 0_0

As the internet is meant for information the best advice you can give users is sending them a private message asking where they're from then suggesting local facilities that will help them. If you post that you're having an issue under an alias it really doesnt matter as local police have ways of tracing information from IPs. This is why it's never a good idea to get too personal online such as discussion with illegal activity such as drugs crimes etc...

The best you can do is offer friendship and if said user is really struggling and they post personal information make it private asap unless they wish to disclose information with you even then I can't stress enough it's never a good idea to give out personal information to the public.

You may see it on Facebook but it's never a good idea to disclose personal details. Like I said the best thing you can do with a community is build friendships and if it's a diersituation don't hesitate to report it or send it to the local authorities.

As someone who struggles with mental health doctors have PhDs for a reason for these situations.

Hmm...well...this bunny could see why you would say that about the “best advice”: The internet is not a safe place after all.

But, the thing is, you can offer help without even giving someone a location! ^_^

This bunny actually does it all the time when he sees Administrators struggling to deal with members who have Mental Health Issues or just terrified about how to deal with a situation when someone says something “grim” or troubling that is endangering. One thing is that they are not aware of how to “locate” help, which comes up. So, this bunny just simply recommends that they go to their nearest hospital and simply ask for a referral (and this bunny also tells them if the hospital does not help them do this, as they are REQUIRED to hand over a referral or assist in this matter, then Bunny says get their number and he will call them).

Note: You can use this instead of asking for locations to be more safe in case someone does NOT want to give their location out of fear. 0_0

Another thing is learning the rules of therapists that are available. For one thing, a therapist cannot turn you down as a client. The moment you ask for help, then you are our burden to bare. We can refer you elsewhere if we cannot fit you in, we can direct you to options, but we cannot turn you away. @_@

Ex: If you were to ask for this bunny’s help personally, he could not say “No,” but he will give you resources that you can use to aid in you finding your own therapist and explain that he is “bound” not to take you as a client due to certain stipulations. In this case, he cannot do it online without proper set-up and credentials.

But yes, in the end, doctors are the best, but not just for direct services, but for resources for finding Mental Health providers. But you do not have to limit yourself to doctors. As long as you find a reasonable Mental Health Provider or direct someone with information on how to find one, you are golden! It is understandable as some Doctors with PhD or Psy.D do not exactly take certain clients.

Also, thank you for the discussion points everyone! Bunny loves this!

[User 180565 is taking donation]

Jul 30, 2020 4:22:39 GMT -8 ~BUNNY~ said:

Sorry, but with all due respect, I'm not really wanting to get into a serious conversation with someone who refers to self as "this/that/the bunny." You do you, but it's too distracting for me in a serious conversation.

M’kay! That is fair. Bunny respects your values and expectations. ^_^

I don't take advice from self-proclaimed health professionals on message boards. However, if I have a more general question, I don't hesitate from asking people I trust for support. I think this is something more people should follow. Whether or not someone attempting to offer me help online is being truthful about their credentials and qualifications does not give them full ability to help me in a life or death situation.


I do have a board on my forum for mental and physical health. However, it is highly stressed that no one on my forum is a doctor. They are offered a safe space to discuss their issues with their peers, but are encouraged to contact a professional should they be in a harmful situation. I don't do anything to nudge communication because people seem to open up about things on their own. Pressuring someone to talk/type doesn't help relieve them of their problem. Sometimes, all they want to do is vent without any feedback. For that, members are allowed to have their own blog threads. If a member asks for resources, the advice we offer depends upon the type of problem they are experiencing.

Tis’ fine! Totally understandable. Due to my mannerism in real life and when speaking at conventions, no one actually believes my credentials either until they have to be authentically shown. =3

That board is an actually valid idea and this bunny means it! Mostly due to me admiring how you have the disclaimer that no one is a doctor and the structure is similar to that of a group therapy setting (which doesn’t require credentials and simply is to support one another). That is why this bunny prefers that people use that method when using boards. Plus, the privacy of disclosing things through PM and helping locate resources is a plus! Love it! <3

By experience, the pressure angle is something this bunny has seen on forums and cannot say this one is a fan of it. If anything, it is actually forbidden to keep “talking-talking-talking” since the dynamic is listening when it comes to communication. So the venting without feedback is an absolute love! Would totally support it and see that forum in action seeing as you seem to have great organization and a grasp on how to support others. Cannot add anything to the dynamic other than perhaps Reflection and Paraphrasing when understanding those problems and listening without feedback? They are great tools that allow someone, even if they do not suffer mental health issues, to have a feeling of belonging and that they are being heard.

Oh! Also, if they have a history of being in a harmful situation, perhaps teaching them about referrals is good (More below)?

Not brave on the advice part though. We are actually taught to stay away from that part. That is the difference between actual Mental Health Therapy and being a Life Coach/Support: The thin layer between Guidance and Advice. So as long as your forum does not reach across that threshold, you should be okay doing what you do to support others. 0_0

As the internet is meant for information the best advice you can give users is sending them a private message asking where they're from then suggesting local facilities that will help them. If you post that you're having an issue under an alias it really doesnt matter as local police have ways of tracing information from IPs. This is why it's never a good idea to get too personal online such as discussion with illegal activity such as drugs crimes etc...

The best you can do is offer friendship and if said user is really struggling and they post personal information make it private asap unless they wish to disclose information with you even then I can't stress enough it's never a good idea to give out personal information to the public.

You may see it on Facebook but it's never a good idea to disclose personal details. Like I said the best thing you can do with a community is build friendships and if it's a diersituation don't hesitate to report it or send it to the local authorities.

As someone who struggles with mental health doctors have PhDs for a reason for these situations.

Hmm...well...this bunny could see why you would say that about the “best advice”: The internet is not a safe place after all.

But, the thing is, you can offer help without even giving someone a location! ^_^

This bunny actually does it all the time when he sees Administrators struggling to deal with members who have Mental Health Issues or just terrified about how to deal with a situation when someone says something “grim” or troubling that is endangering. One thing is that they are not aware of how to “locate” help, which comes up. So, this bunny just simply recommends that they go to their nearest hospital and simply ask for a referral (and this bunny also tells them if the hospital does not help them do this, as they are REQUIRED to hand over a referral or assist in this matter, then Bunny says get their number and he will call them).

Note: You can use this instead of asking for locations to be more safe in case someone does NOT want to give their location out of fear. 0_0

Another thing is learning the rules of therapists that are available. For one thing, a therapist cannot turn you down as a client. The moment you ask for help, then you are our burden to bare. We can refer you elsewhere if we cannot fit you in, we can direct you to options, but we cannot turn you away. @_@

Ex: If you were to ask for this bunny’s help personally, he could not say “No,” but he will give you resources that you can use to aid in you finding your own therapist and explain that he is “bound” not to take you as a client due to certain stipulations. In this case, he cannot do it online without proper set-up and credentials.

But yes, in the end, doctors are the best, but not just for direct services, but for resources for finding Mental Health providers. But you do not have to limit yourself to doctors. As long as you find a reasonable Mental Health Provider or direct someone with information on how to find one, you are golden! It is understandable as some Doctors with PhD or Psy.D do not exactly take certain clients.

Also, thank you for the discussion points everyone! Bunny loves this!

That's not exactly true, therapists cost money just as any doctors do. If you can't afford a service they won't take you. It's a sad life but money is what keeps your health going. Without insurance for myself it's a $100 visit each MD visit. Then the cost of prescribed medicine add up. Unless you're in absolute dire need always recommend user to visit an Emergency room if they are getting that bad, from there doctors will try to get a person to the right facilities. Never assume nothing is free in life when it's not. You may not get billed now but eventually you will.

[~BUNNY~]

Jul 30, 2020 8:44:07 GMT -8 User 180565 is taking donation said:

That's not exactly true, therapists cost money just as any doctors do. If you can't afford a service they won't take you. It's a sad life but money is what keeps your health going. Without insurance for myself it's a $100 visit each MD visit. Then the cost of prescribed medicine add up. Unless you're in absolute dire need always recommend user to visit an Emergency room if they are getting that bad, from there doctors will try to get a person to the right facilities. Never assume nothing is free in life when it's not. You may not get billed now but eventually you will.

Actually, it is as Bunny said to a very close degree (if not exact). He will reference our ethics: www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf

Please refer to the guidelines of C.5 [Non-Discrimination] and C.6 [Public Responsibility].

For us to make such a judgement simply because of money would be discrimination. Yes, we must eat and support ourselves, but we get in this job and are trained in abilities that are highly valued in easing someone else's pain. So we go by the "first do no harm" which would be the top part which are our principles. 

To turn someone away would be violation of C.6 Guidelines (specifically C.6.e) which is Contributing to the Public Good and highlights Pro Bono work. We can certainly take someone for free and see them for quite a time. We can even write off their sessions on our Taxes as our time is worth of value. It is just not going to be frequently done for more than say a month worth of sessions as that month would be spent trying to find you a reasonable place that not only allows for you to meet your needs, but also locate resources and become insured. We can certainly take someone for free, and it is just not in individual sessions.

Some therapists love Group Work (not myself really @_@) or even help give public demonstrations (which is like this bunny ^_^) in which this bunny would hold a session or two for fifteen minutes, demonstrate skills and technique. This bunny even offers free sessions on Weekends as long as the party signs a disclosure form that acknowledges the sessions are limited.

Not only that, but there are simply some people that get more harm out of therapy than good. This bunny can think of children who get a lot out of sessions, but the parents would be the ones that were actually causing mayhem and not helping in the recovery/therapeutic process. That is a story for another day, but the point is there are a lot of underlying factors that would keep us from rendering services. Even then, we MUST refer them!

One reason we DO take clients that are willing to pay, especially out of pocket, is that research says when someone pays for the sessions, they attempt to get more out of them. So there are doctors that actually lean on this aspect not for simply the pay, but security, and it would be silly for us to ignore the statistics that help client success.

But, this bunny is not naive! He DOES know that there are Doctors and Therapists that turn away others for profit and some people authentically do not know their rights or the ethical rules that bind us. If someone were to do that and bunny hears about it, you can bet your bottom dollar Bunny would ask you to give me their number, Bunny will call them and see why they are not being accepted, and if they have no valid reason then there will be a phone call to the ACA board about an ethical violation (Nothing burns this bunny up like an unethical therapist DX)! To pressure a community to need money and not give them resources, even if not a referral to another counselor, would be unprofessional and a violation of principles of Justice (which are at the top).

So, if there is something that seems undignified or someone is not helping you and their credentials are based on Therapy/Counseling (even as Doctors), then please refer to this guide. If of Psychology, do not worry, they have their own book as well (This bunny has to follow both by the way, so he knows them well). ^_^

[Graham]

Jul 29, 2020 9:09:25 GMT -8 wildmaven said:

Sorry, but with all due respect, I'm not really wanting to get into a serious conversation with someone who refers to self as "this/that/the bunny." You do you, but it's too distracting for me in a serious conversation.

I think the worst bit is the constant flitting between 1st and 3rd person. Consistency is good, kids.

[Friendly]

No doctor will ever see you without pay. I don't have $150 a week for a therapist. A lot only take cash. Many people go w/o mental health assistance because of cost.

[~BUNNY~]

Aug 4, 2020 5:32:35 GMT -8 Friendly said:

No doctor will ever see you without pay. I don't have $150 a week for a therapist. A lot only take cash. Many people go w/o mental health assistance because of cost.

That is an overgeneralized statement. This bunny gives free time for sessions!~ ^_^

Once again, seeing the items above as described in guidelines, it is possible to be seen without pay if you are referred to a certain therapist. Depending on severity, negotiation (which is possible), and the means; there are certain practitioners that will see you without pay or adjusting a payment plan. It is all the matter of being aware of their "Declaration Statement."

For example, this bunny's Declaration Statement offers free sessions on Weekends with the understanding that the time regiment will be strict and will be on a basis. There are also a lot of other requirements that must be met for the convenience of both in order to meet both in the middle.

But Bunny is not sure what you mean by "Doctor." If you are referring to a Medical Doctor, then that would be different. They may have differing methods. Now, if Doctor in the fields of Psychology and Counseling, then they are to follow such guidelines to ensure that you are able to have a better means of paying (Example, installments overtime that you can keep to instead of paying $150 a week). Also, depending on the severity of your illness, you may not need a Doctor.

A lot of grief-related or therapeutic issues dealing with stress (Adjustment Disorders) can be handled by a Licensed Mental Health Professional (LMHP) or a non-licensed Mental Health Professional with credentials in Counseling and Psychology field (MHP). Meeting the criteria for being an MHP requires that you have undergone sixty hours of various subjects of study from Marriage/Relationship Counseling, Substance Abuse, and Skills. So any MHP would do. It does not necessarily have to be a doctor.

Once again, these resources can be found by searching for referrals from other providers. Depending on how important those individuals follow ethics and are willing to work with clients, then it is possible to find someone who will adhere to the Pro Bono clause or even accept insurance or help clients find a way to have Mental Health one way or another. The system is not perfect in adhering and helping others find Mental Health help (mostly due to not a lot of people not knowing their rights or resources), but there are certainly ways to find some. This bunny will admit, there are even some factors that are in the system that makes things difficult, but the important thing is to keep trying to help others find a way, no matter what. ^_^

Does that help ease the burden of payment or with some possible solutions?

[bigballofyarn]

Jul 28, 2020 6:18:35 GMT -8 ~BUNNY~ said:

This topic is not to be used to open up to therapy via PMs, in this topic, or ever!

Aug 4, 2020 8:33:56 GMT -8 ~BUNNY~ said:

That is an overgeneralized statement. This bunny gives free time for sessions!~ ^_^

I'm not sure what to believe.

[~BUNNY~]

Aug 4, 2020 8:40:45 GMT -8 bigballofyarn said:

Jul 28, 2020 6:18:35 GMT -8 ~BUNNY~ said:

This topic is not to be used to open up to therapy via PMs, in this topic, or ever!

Aug 4, 2020 8:33:56 GMT -8 ~BUNNY~ said:

That is an overgeneralized statement. This bunny gives free time for sessions!~ ^_^

I'm not sure what to believe.

Basically, in this topic, we are talking about the Communication and how it is relative to dealing with issues of Skills when dealing with individuals and how Mental Health issues come up on forums.

The line this bunny used was in response to the Overgeneralized Statement by the last member that "No one will see anyone without pay." The response was to show how that is an overgeneralized statement that this bunny sees people in Real Life for free.

The fact remains that this bunny is not to give therapy sessions online or through PMs. Even if they are free, this bunny will not see you online due to it being an ethical violation.

Does that make sense?